Chronicles of the Shade – Part II – Episode 4
Chronicles of The Shade Part II
The McPain Conspiracy
By Sam Miller
EPISODE 4
Lance Carter telephoned Lara Lane as soon as he returned to his townhouse in D.C. The trip from the west coast had been long but uneventful. He had tried to piece together what he had learned from his encounter with Squintus McPain and Ricardo Chancey. He was troubled by what he had heard while eavesdropping on the telephone call between Chancey and Hildegard Swinton. How could he convince Hildy Swinton that Chancey was intent on a war with Iroon, and that he would assuredly get that war if Squintus McPain were elected?
“I’ve got some bad news, Lara,” said Lance. ‘Shooter’ Chancey is back in the picture. He’s trying to convince Hildy Swinton not to campaign for Orama. He’s dangling the State Department in front of her.”
Lara had just returned from a dance class that she was instructing in the D.C. inner city. She was tired. This was news that she was not up to hearing. “Surely, she won’t go along?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” said Lance. “She said that she’d think about it. I’m afraid that her emotions have clouded her judgment.”
Then Lara became alert. “How do you know all this?” she asked. Lance Carter had not yet told her about his powers as The Shade.
Lance hedged. “I got it from a good source,” he said, the source being his own observational powers. “But what do you think we can do?”
“If we could somehow convince her that Chancey isn’t to be trusted,” said Lara. “That would draw her back from the brink.”
Lance thought about this. “I’m going to call Wilby Goode,” he said. “Maybe he’ll have some ideas.” With that, Lance Carter wished his only love goodnight and hung up the telephone. Tomorrow, he thought, tomorrow he would telephone Wilby. Now what he needed was a good night’s sleep.
Lance awoke the next morning still troubled by his encounters with McPain and Chancey. The only way Bam Orama was going to win was to have a united Demo party, and Hildy Swinton was thinking about throwing a monkey wrench into any such unity by secretly supporting the candidacy of Squintus McPain. After fixing himself a cup of coffee, Lance dialed the number of Wilby Goode.
“Hello, Wilby Goode here,” said Wilby after picking up the telephone on the second ring. He had been expecting a call from the editor of the D.C. Post on an article he had written about the slow progress being made in dismantling the enduring bases in Jiraq.
“It’s Lance Carter, Wilby. I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news about a possible conspiracy involving Squintus McPain and Hildegard Swinton.”
“Turn on your TV set, Lance. Hildy Swinton is being interviewed this morning by Slim Buzzert on ‘Know Your Press’.”
Lance pushed the button on his TV remote just in time to hear Slim Buzzert’s question. “But, come November are you going to vote for Bam Orama?”
Hildy Swinton turned an icy smile into the TV camera. “Well,” she began, “You know that I’ve been supporting Demo candidates for most of my life. While my husband was President, we always supported the cause of the Demo Party.”
“But does that mean that you will vote for him?”
“Slim, you know that what one does in the voting booth is a private matter. You’ve also heard me say many times what a fine person Bam Orama is. The disagreements we had during our campaign were about a question of experience. If Bam Orama is elected, then I’m hopeful that he would learn quickly on the job. I just wish he had the experience that I have, and, for that matter, the experience Senator McPain has.”
What Slim Buzzert didn’t know was that Hildegard and Jefferson Swinton had decided to explore “Shooter” Chancey’s offer further. They had demanded and got a late-night meeting with Squintus McPain; and while Lance was traveling across the continent, McPain was meeting with the Swintons and arranging a deal. Except it wasn’t the Department of State that Hildy Swinton wanted. It was the Department of Defense. Hildy Swinton and her husband had reached an agreement with McPain that if she secretly sandbagged Bam Orama’s campaign, McPain would make her Secretary of Defense in a McPain administration. That way, McPain could rattle his saber against Iroon, and Hildy would back him up far better than Ron Dumsfeld had backed up President Barnaby A. Liar in Jiraq. McPain had agreed that he didn’t want a second term, and that he would support her Independent candidacy for president in 2012. By that time, he thought, Iroon would be another U.S. “coaling station” in the Middle East, and Squintus McPain could retire a happy man. They had put their agreement in writing and on tape.
Lance Carter sat stunned. It appeared that Hildy Swinton had caved in to the machinations of “Shooter Chancey.” Didn’t she know that if Squintus were elected, there would be a war with Iroon? Was it really worth it to further her ambitions to be a partner to more bloodshed, and increased hatred on the part of other nations?
Lance realized that Wilby was still on the line. “Wilby,” he said, “what do you think we can do about this?”
There was a pause on the other end. Finally, Wilby said, “I’ve still got the original tapes, Lance. You know, the ones you collected on Chancey, Spice, and Liar. Suppose I released them to the D.C. Post? That would get Chancey out of the picture.”
Lance thought about this. “But didn’t you promise Fancy Bugliosi not to publish those tapes until President Liar left office? Not only that, but it still leaves Hildy Swinton’s caving in to McPain still hanging. What do you propose we do about that?”
“I don’t know,” said Wilby, remembering his promise to the Speaker of the House to withhold publication of the tapes until 2009. “But you’ve always been resourceful. Maybe you can come up with something that will change her mind.”
At that moment Lance decided that he would indeed have to change her mind. He would have to visit Hildegard Swinton and convince her that Squintus McPain was the last person she would like to see as president of the United States. So he said to Wilby, “Do you mind if I borrow those tapes for a few days. I think I might be able to put them to good use without publishing them.”
Chronicles of the Shade Part II Episode 5
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