Don’t Make Nice, Nancy
(An open letter to Nancy Pelosi on becoming Speaker of the House)

By: Leonard Carrier (DW’s In-House Historian and Philosopher)

            We won it fair and square.  The citizens of the United States spoke out loud and clear on November 7.  The nation-wide election was a repudiation of the policies of George W. Bush and his inept administration.  Donald Rumsfeld is gone—and good riddance.  His disastrous military policies resulted in the deaths of nearly 3,000 brave American troops, and the killing of as many as 790,000 Iraqis.  But Bush’s policies have not gone.  He still makes jokes while saying in his smirking, sidewise manner that we’ve got to pursue his vision in the Middle East, even though he’s willing to change tactics.

            Don’t be fooled, Nancy.  Bush is a weaselly, draft-dodging, macho-talking bully who thinks that all he has to do is schmooze with you a little and you’ll fall under his spell. We know what a gutless little pip-squeak he is from the way he tried to joke his way out of lying about having to replace Rumsfeld in his recent press conference.  Before the election, he said that Rumsfeld would stay.  After the election, he said that he’d made up his mind to replace him but said what he did because he didn’t want politics to get in the way.  This is a typical example of his way of governing–joke and smirk while lying about serious matters, and all the while doing his best to favor the rich and put the screws to everyone else.

            I understand that there are more important things to accomplish before thinking about impeaching our liar-in-chief.  You’ve got to oversee raising the minimum wage, get drug companies to negotiate prices the way the VA does, rein in our deficit, get the 9/11 Commission’s recommendations passed, and put Medicare and Social Security on a sound footing for our posterity.  You’ve also got to engineer our departure from Iraq—something Bush will insist is not in our nation’s interest. But it is in our interest.  Bush is concerned only about getting cheap Iraqi oil into the hands of his favorite oil companies.  You’ve got to resist the pressure he’ll bring to bear on this issue, Nancy.  You’ve got to push Jack Murtha’s line that we should withdraw and let the Iraqis settle their own political differences.  He’s going to try to sweet-talk you, the way he used to try to charm the girls in the bars he frequented before he decided to get religion.  But you’ve got to put him in his place, tell him that his days strutting around in a little pilot’s jacket are over.  Perhaps you can do this without hurting his fragile ego, but if he starts in with his phony macho act, just tell him to stand in the corner because his posturing days are done.

            So, don’t make nice, Nancy.  Tell our diminished president the facts of life, that he’s the lamest of lame ducks, and he’d better start quacking the right tune.  If he doesn’t, then there are well deserved Articles of Impeachment that might be waiting in the wings—Articles that would put the quietus on his tenure as the most abject failure as a president we’ve ever experienced.

Leonard Carrier