![]() |
PEELING IT TO THE CORE AND DECLARING PEACE |
|---|
Although history is one of our greatest teachers, and though mastering it affords us the opportunity to keep it from repeating itself, I think that history in the final analysis is like the onion. The more you peel off layers looking for truth, the more layers of former illusion you will discover. Finally, it seems, as you peel down the layers of history or science to discover the core of “truth” within, the cores turn out to be alive and growing, and as such, are incapable of exact measurement or analysis.
In our life time, for example, the Jews have been victims of the holocaust of WWII and a myriad of other travails and persecutions. Peel the onion of their history down to their origins (their own Genesis/Exodus/Leviticus accounts) and it appears the original tribes of Israel were among the world’s first genocidal peoples, who, under the license and directive of their “God”, entered into lands occupied by others whom they serially and systematically slaughtered on their holy trek to secure and dominate the real estate promised them by their God in a special covenant which excluded all but them.
Displaced and homeless Jews persecuted in Europe displaced—and rendered homeless–as much as 85 percent of the resident Islamic population of the region which became the State of Israel in 1948, a state formed by an ad-hoc caucus in which none of the displaced Islamic residents had a single delegate.
The citizens of the United States were liberators and saviors of Europeans in 1945, but two hundred years before were “insurgents” who murdered the agents and soldiers of the ruler to whom they had sworn fealty. During the two centuries before that, they invaded , murdered, imprisoned or otherwise displaced scores of native American cultures, all in the names and sakes of their primarily Christian cultures and creeds.
Bin Laden is a C.I.A. ally, trainee and protégé in America’s covert alliance with Afghani insurgents in 1982 and the heart of Evil’s Axis when he remains allied with those same insurgents as they turn their war-frenzied gaze from the retreating Russian infidels to the incoming infidels…those increasingly-militant allies of Israel…you guessed it…oil-drilling, sheik-hand-holding, wealth and resource-seizing America. Us.
Saddam is American’s ally and oil-bargaining buddy in 1980 and our arch enemy in ‘93, and moreso (allegedly) in 2003.
The “peeled onion” point: Read history long enough and there are no consistently “good” or “evil” entities among the several nations and peoples contending with one another. The “liberator” of today is the aggressor of tomorrow.
The United States built its seminal wealth by stealing assets of aboriginal cultures and subsequently developing those assets and resources by the use of slave labor. At the end of this growth process, and the civil war to humanize and anneal it, America became strong enough to act as liberator of the free world, and twice within a single century. With that success came the recognition, the gratitude and indebtedness of the rest of the world, and with it the power no other nation had to this point in time ever attained. The question yet unanswered by history’s perennially-peeling onion is… Will America’s near absolute power wind up corrupting America absolutely?
Every nation — like every individual human–when viewed chronologically (through significant time in their historic “lives”) is a patchwork quilt. There are some pretty and “good” patches, and some ineptly-sewn, sloppy and even ragged patches. The moral of the American movie (“The Making of an American Quilt”, starring Wynonna Ryder) was quite beautiful: Let’s judge each other as we do our communally-sewn patchwork quilts—not on the basis of any individual patch, but on the basis of whether, taking it as a whole, on a cold and dreary winter’s night when we wrap it about our shoulders…does it keep us warm?
Saint Francis of Assisi put it poignantly when he confessed there was no way he could ever have come to be viewed as “saintly” had he not first lived as one of the world’s most reprehensible sinners.
If America in this Middle Eastern conflict, or more broadly, in its apparently increasing determination to condemn and wage war on Islamic peoples for the criminal acts of some of their radical fundamentalists, has gone astray as a peace-loving nation, America as a nation is not necessarily lost. American and all peoples and nations are better viewed in the contexts of the sum of their historically mosaic parts. It’s not only what we’ve done that will define us in the future, but rather what we do today and hereafter. The American Quilt, like the onion, continues to grow even as I write.
The point I was hopefully leading up to here is this: Some time, somewhere along the karmic-patchwork progression of history we’ve got to get off the wagon of cause and effect, climb down from the pulpit of “who threw the stone first” and simply draw a line in the sand and say this: “It doesn’t matter who threw the stone first. There will be no more stones thrown. From this point on, there will be no preemptive aggression. Men may defend their lives, but they will defend with the use of force only after every means of international diplomacy and peaceful resolution has been exhausted. They will be intolerant of nothing but intolerance and untruth. They will cease justifying aggression in the present with the aggression of their opponents in the past.”
We must unite in a cease fire. And finally, if the source or seeds of the problems of aggression are centered or being fostered within the walls of religious institutions and ideologies, then that is where the peace effort must be focused and exerted. If a Jihad exists within Islam which advocates the taking of innocent lives, then the Jihad must by some means be extinguished. If a plan is underway within the walls of either Judaism or Christianity (or both in conjunction) to fulfill putative Biblical prophesies of Armageddon’s end-time wars in order to either lay the way for the second coming of a prophet or procure by force land reportedly promised to Jews and/or Christians of which they are not presently and legally seized, then the plans for actively ordaining such prophesies must by some means be extinguished.
We will not solve the problems causing wars by assigning unreal causes (religious prophesy) for those wars. If a cow is trampling an innocent child, that cow needs to be restrained, albeit sacred or sacrificial. If there are Jihads or undeclared wars of Zionist ambition (or either Armageddon or Rapture fulfillment) underway, then those responsible must be approached, counseled and dealt with.
But to whom do we turn for such a change? Will it be our politicians who dare to “meddle” with the onion’s core (theological/theocratic) problems within Islam, Christianity and Judaism that may be the prime movers or at least co-efficient causes of the conflict in Middle East? If in fact anti-Western Jihad and anti-Islamic Zionist sermons are being preached in the Mosques, Maddrasses, Churches and Synagogues of our world, will our politicians be willing or able to initiate any meaningful change, given the historically inveterate jealousies and divisions between clerical and secular powers within diverse cultures? Tony Blair’s efforts in this regard in Great Britain following the terrorist bombings of the subways have thus far backfired and been condemned by Islam as failed efforts on the part of a secular infidel to pervert the interests of Islam for the benefit of the Satanic U.S./G.B. coalition.
But it is clearly the subversion of fundamentalists of the several faiths by the demagogic secular leaders of presently warring cultures that has led us into this war with terrorism. Bin Laden is essentially a secular power-mongering demagogue and opportunist who became a successful terrorist by perverting Islam and manipulating impressionable, depressed and devout fundamentalist Islamic followers to become tools for his secular agenda, and as such to perform as self-sacrificial “I.C.B.M”’s (intercontinental ballistic Muslims) against the West. It is widely believed in the non-Western world that the Bush leadership has harnessed, through similar Machiavellian stealth, the fundamentalist Christians of America to falsely perceive (and thus elect and support) him as a “Christian warrior” in spite of the fact that the same oxymoronic posture was first assumed by Adolph Hitler in 1938.
Given the efforts on the parts of secular (political) leaders of both sides of the terrorist struggle to exploit their respectively-faithful fundamentalist supporters and activists, it is naïve to look to politicians to institute or mediate any détente or separate accord of peace among the religious leaders of their respective constituencies and/or armed holy warriors.
I say, therefore, it is the responsibility of our religious leaders, quite independently of our politicians, military personnel and secular leaders, to assume the responsibility. It is their clear and present duty to weave and take up the banner and find a way to unite with one another, collaborate with one another, cooperate with one another and declare peace with one other. Innocent people are dying in Iraq, England and around the world. Thousands perished on American soil on 9/11. This killing violates shared tenets of Christianity, Judaism and Islam alike. The leaders of all faiths have independently agreed and declared as much, but they have not yet done so together, in pro-active concert with one another. They have all espoused peace from pulpits ensconced in secure and separate quarters within the militarily-gated communities of their secular kings, ayatollas, presidents, prime ministers and their respective nation states.
Bin Laden’s version of Islam is false and itself a perversion and sin against Islam. The great majority of Islam’s clerical authority has openly and formally condemned terrorism carried out in the name of Islam. Our attack on Iraq was a violation of Christian and Jewish Commandment and is clearly the antithesis of Christ’s clear teaching; but where—anywhere—from the Vatican to the Church of England to the Southern Baptist Convention–is there any righteous Christian condemnation of Americas aggression? Where in the Christian faith, in the entire institutional “Body of Christ” is there evidence of anything but endorsement and complicity in America’s admittedly preemptive aggression in the Middle Eastern Holy Land of Christians, Jews and Islam?
The followers of Christ, Mohammed and Islam all have a common progenitor and patriarch. His name was Abraham. Although they have different names for Him, they worship a common God, because they all agree there is but the One.
Mark Twain once said (ironically in retrospect), “Everybody talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it.” Amazingly enough we now have. No one disputes global warming presently exists. There’s apparently nothing humans can’t accomplish with their God-given inventiveness and collective ingenuity.
By the same space-age token, there was once a time one might have safely and sanely said, “let’s not worry about history, because earthly life and history will go on…like an onion, which–even while one is peeling it–may continue to grow.” But since Einstein and our ability to harness—and unharness—the atom, it appears there is definitely a way people can today stunt and potentially terminate the growth of all life on their planet, including that precious onion of man’s historic progress hidden in his larder, carefully wrapped up in possibly the finest patchwork quilt in the universe.
But—before that happens–I propose an international summit for the negotiation and drafting of a united Global Declaration of Peace by the clerical leaders of Christianity, Islam, Judaism and all the other religions of world. We know where our Captains of War are today. But where are our Princes of Peace? What are they waiting for? I hope and pray it’s not simply Armegeddon and/or the Rapture. If and/or when God might intend those events to occur, He certainly has not appointed any of us to engineer or pro-actively pursue them.
Come forth, Billy and Franklin Graham– your pulpit was not built, nor does it belong, in the White House. Come forth Benedict XVI; the Vatican is no longer Papal puppet to any throne. Come forth Rabbis and Imans; Come clerical descendants of Isaac and Ishmael– your Sharons and sheiks have no final sway in what you must do and say.
You—all of you—hold…and manipulate…the theological needles and threads of sermons being woven in the patchwork quilts of your pulpits…not Bush, not bin Laden, not Sharon, and not any of the secular leaders of this world.
With those “theological needles and threads”, what practical stitching must be accomplished—as a practical minimum—by these brave clerics of our revolutionarily new world order of peace? Without attempting to cite the plentitude of peaceful statutes and verses within the Old and New Testaments and Koran, the necessary ingredients are…elementary:
Declaring Peace:
Practical Patch Sewing at the Onion’s Core
(I.C.P. Axioms, Corollaries and Addenda)
The Intercontinental Congress of Peace (I.C.P.) will be assembled for the pre-declared purpose of adopting and integrating into its Interfaith Declaration of Interdependence and Peace (I.D.O.I.A.P.), inter alia, both a pledge to maintain and abide in peace, and a definition and joint condemnation and universal clerical prohibition of “terrorism” as hereinafter defined, all according to the following axiom, corollaries and addenda:
A X I O M : TERRORISM IS ANATHEMA and refers to: one human’s intentionally injuring or killing another human except in self defense.
F i r s t C o r o l l a r y : Attacks on either military personnel or civilian populations are never justified as “self defense” unless those personnel or populations are at the same time themselves actively engaged in the process of committing terrorism. Accordingly, all pre-emptive injurious attacks on human beings constitute terrorism, and this includes attacks on non-human targets that injure humans in the process.
S e c o n d C o r o l l a r y: The attacker is deemed to have intended the natural consequences of his acts. If a skyscraper 120 stories high is attacked and destroyed after the attacker has inspected and found vacant every room and closet therein save one which was inadvertently overlooked, he is a terrorist if a single human in the unfound closet is injured.
T h i r d C o r o l l a r y : Before the conclusion of the Intercontinental Congress of Peace, an Interfaith Declaration of Interdependence and Peace should be signed by all Clerics in attendance, who immediately upon adjournment will return to their places of religious worship and spiritual communion and preach and disseminate by all means conceivable and available the sermons and resolutions that peace has been declared and shall thereafter be invariably the required behavior of all members of the various religions with permanent excommunications from their respective bodies of all who thereafter violate the collective, Interfaith Declaration of Interdependence and Peace.
F o u r t h C o r o l l a r y : An invariably integral portion of each sermon will be recitations and avowals that the Clerics of all the religions assembled at the I.C.P. were responsible for the united adoption of the Declaration of Interdependence and Peace, and as such, that both they and their faithful following are perpetually entitled to all other faith’s according to both them and their partners in faith: peace, love, friendship, truth, respect, and inclusion in prayers.
F i f t h C o r o l l a r y : All clerical leaders who have attended the I.C.P. and signed the I.D.O.I.A.P. have walked the walk. It is thereafter mandatory that each of them, for the rest of their lives continue to both walk the walk and talk the talk of peace. Part of that duty may involve acts of civil disobedience in instances where secular leaders thereafter commit acts of terrorism or attempt to induce others to perform acts of terrorism.
A d d e n d u m: Consonant with its letter and spirit, it is recalled and noted that America’s first and foremost collective resolution, its July 4, 1776 Declaration of Independence, was itself an act of civil disobedience. It is suggested that that which at the time was deemed moral and just for the sake of taxes and equal sway in British Parliament, is as well, if not clearly more compellingly founded (by the declaring consensus) upon the will and recorded commandments of infinitely higher authorities and allegiances.
You do not need the blessing, authority or permission of any politician or statesman in your midst. If declaring and waging wars and defending their peoples in wars is their primary focus and duty, declaring peace is yours. You do not need the protection of their warriors. Buddha did not seek the permission or protection of the warring lords in his homeland. Gandhi did not seek refuge. Martin Luther King stepped to the front of the many lines he drew in the deserts of bigotry and hatred. Moses and Mohammed heeded only a single voice, which was certainly not secular. Jesus Christ made of His life and blood a sermon of peace, and rendered none of it to Caesar.
It is your sermons—united in peace– that will save us from this war…not their swords.
Which of you will hear and heed this call to come forth and enlist as representatives of your faith and as pilgrims of peace and attend the world’s first Intercontinental Congress for Peace? Which will sojourn to Switzerland and subscribe to the world’s first Interfaith Declaration of Interdependence and Peace?
Which of you will come forward (and to Switzerland) in response to this challenge and call and be first to call the rest to a summit of peace among a coalition of clerics in the world? Which of you will become signatories of the world’s first Declaration of Peace?
War is the only enemy.
Dusty Schoch
High Point, NC
August 15,2005
|
THE BIGGEST LIE OF ALL
|
Wake up people. We were lied to. The biggest lie of all is Bush’s claim that the duration of our occupation has come as an unforeseeable surprise. It’s the biggest and the subtlest of the entire pack of neo-con lies told about the war in Iraq. Bush and the authors of the original plan of war planned from the start never to leave Iraq…at least so long as the oil holds out. We’re already back to 80 percent pre-war production levels. “No Exit” was the plan from the go-street intersection of “Shock and Awe”. Make no mistake about it(!)
Iraq was simply the first conquest named in the joint Israeli/U.S. plan to establish a new Middle Eastern order. Read about it in”A Clean Break”–the 1997 plan co-authored by David and Meyrev Wurmser, (Hudson Institute operatives, PNAC and A.E.I. and Pentagon insiders instrumental in executing the neo-con coup of the Pentagon detailed in Sam Tannenhaus’s July 2003, Vanity Fair expose’) incorporated in the PNAC manifesto (so-called “Statement of Principles” on the PNAC website).We entered Iraq without an exit strategy not because we were stupid or our intelligence was bad. All we NEED do is read the Downing Street memo and “A Clean Break” (research them! Google them!) to see the intelligence Bush had was clear and certain: no Iraq/9/11 connections, no WMD’s , and there COULD NEVER BE AN EXIT FROM IRAQ. Ike knew it; Bush’s father SAID it; and GW Bush certainly knew it because his father, among many others, told him. The very non-existence of an exit strategy guarantees America 20 percent of Arabian reserves forever… or at least until Halliburton freezes over.
In previous months there were problems in arranging for a “constitutional congress” to actually become a U.S.-appointed caucus. Next month there’ll be further delays in drafting the constitution these non-elected delegates will forge as straw-men for their neo-con U.S. partners in oil. After that, there will be delays in U.S. military departure because, somehow, things just won’t be getting peaceful over there–while an Islamic people are held captive by Western infidels in their holy land–Go figure. The foreign-policy math here is not challenging. The insurgency will continue as long is there is a marketable flow of oil, because, as long as there is a marketable flow of oil, we (Halliburton and Halliburton customers- you and I) will be there pumping it.
Did you read it in the news today (August 1, 2005) about the U.S. Soldier that suburb of Baghdad is already calling “Sheik” (for his skill in garnering local help in ferreting out insurgents)? And the U.S. public is supposed to believe its government has an exit plan? We’re digging in deeper and deeper in Arabia’s oily oasis. We’re getting accustomed to being tent dwellers. We’re now putting on robes and turbans. Britain’s Lawrence of Arabia clearly had no patent on either Machiavellian stealth or desert détente. If war’s a great teacher of history as they say, oil apparently supplies an equally adequate source of ink for recording it.
Hello! If you think we keep troops in Iraq to save lives from “insurgents”, ask yourself why Bush said no when the Senate asked for troops to fight genocidal terrorism in Sudan (mounting death toll 400,000). “No Exit” was flashing over Baghdad’s door the day we entered. We knew that American/English occupation of Iraq would be bloody and protracted. Bush and Rumsfeld’s principal miscalculation was in underestimating the quantity of troops it takes to maintain the bloody standoff with the insurgents we’d certainly muster in retaliation for our invasion. If we could have sustained the occupation of Iraq with 50,000 troops instead of three times that, we’d already be taking over Syria and/or Iran, which are certainly next in line-at least if the neo-con Christian and pro-Israeli Zionists intent on waging their combined Herrenvolk wars of “End-Time Rapture” and Zionist Armegeddon win again in 2008.
A U.S. Congressman yesterday suggested (“hypothetically”) that bombing Mecca might provide the proper response to the next act of Islamic terrorism on U.S. turf. Rebecca, the female bartender in TV’s sitcom, “Cheers” said something humorously self-deprecating after a blunder of galactic proportions…and it’s somehow the only thing that comes to mind in the wake of Tom Tancredo’s hint of declaring war on Islam (as opposed to a war on Fundamentalist Islamic Terrorists, which constitute probably less than 1 percent of trans-Global Islam). Tommy T, I think Rebecca’s auto-erratic refrain might be a natural for your adoption and chanting at least once a day in the mirror for as long as you live. So, repeat after me…. ” I am toooo stoooopid to live”.
My good American friends, until we read the Downing Street Memo, “A Clean Break”, the PNAC manifesto (entitled “Statement of Principles”) and understand how the PNAC and A.E.I. control Bush and the Pentagon, we are far too ill-informed to form an opinion, much less vote.
We need to wake up and quit being deceived by this “war on terrorism” Bush declared nearly four years ago. Next year, it will have out-lasted WWII. As of today (August 3, 2005) 1,800 Americans are killed; over 43,000 have been seriously injured, mentally and/or physically; we have slaughtered 113,000 civilians (we know of) and we can’t prove we’ve killed a single individual involved in 9/11. “All gave some…Some gave all” applies to all our wars and our beloved warriors. But until we wake up, our children are over there heroically, tragically and needlessly dying. Blood and oil are not an even trade.
Dusty Schoch
High Point
August 3, 2005
Description: I am Robert R. (“Dusty”) Schoch, an attorney/writer and environmentalist. I was headed to New York on 9/11 for a meeting with Milton Bradley. We were scheduled to meet and conference with them that day down town, and we were thus scheduled unknowingly to be in harm’s way, big time. Luckily, driving up, we heard the news before we got to the Tunnel, and got no closer than a distant view of the smoke. My wife, Marilyn and I, simultaneously mourned the event and celebrated our lucky deliverance. My reaction stayed mainly “shock and awe” until a few days later when I listened to President Bush’s plans to respond to the terrorist attack. His response, and our Congress’ endorsement of it frightend me far more than bin Laden’s bombers. It frightened me so much I recorded my thoughts in reaction to the events and e-mailed the attached letter, entitled “Stand Behind Me” to every person I know. I now share it with you. It is not a popular view. At the firt of the letter I make reference to Michael Moore and his open letter to Americans urging us all to take the responsibility we should for our part in causing the 9/11 wake-up call. I don’t endorse everything Moore declared, but my letter is a comprehensive summary of my personal sense of responsibility, as an American, for 9/11 and the anti-American sentiment which spawned it. The letter will speak the rest for itself.
Date of e-mail: About a week after 9/11.
Subject line of e-mail: Stand Behind Me, America, and Take Responsibility
Terrorism: Inheriting the Winds
Assigning Blame for the Attack on America on America*
The Plaintive Rantings of a Southern American Writer/Lawyer/
Environmentalist
(*not a misprint)
Let’s not forget that while the patriotic old men of Congress are getting “involved ” in their jingoistic process of calculating the strategy and cost of declaring and waging war, it’s our sons and daughters , our committed warriors, who’ll be paying the price. Our soldiers are like the bacon in Jr. Johnson’s (race car driver) terse parable on the difference between “involved” and “committed”: He was having breakfast one morning with a friend (Bill France) who was trying to persuade Junior to keep racing , but Junior had gotten to the stage where age and discretion were overtaking his hunger for valor and fame and said: “For instance, you’re eating bacon and eggs this morning. Think about this: That chicken was involved, but that hog was committed. I’m involved in racing , but I’m not committed.” I’ve always suspected that if the ones who declared the wars were bound to wage them, there’d be substantially fewer wars.
I’m not, mind you, suggesting we shouldn’t go for the head(s) of the terrorist snake(s) -whoever they are – and separate them from their bodies with all musterable haste. Not having done so in the case of Saddam Hussein may well account for why we are in the situation we find ourselves today. I am suggesting , however, that those involved in the declaration of war should first (1) study and decide (understand) both how and why we were attacked, not just by whom, (2) determine the best way to establish peace and not simply win a fight or destroy an enemy, (3) decide how best to accomplish (2) with minimal risk to our committed warriors , and (4) accomplish (1) through (3) with deliberation , discretion and, where called-for , stealth ( without telling CNN in advance every detail in our attack stratagem ) and without bankrupting our already teetering economy.
Yes – we are, in the larger picture, as Michael Moore (TV’s “Roger & Me”, in a widely-circulated ” e-article”) and others have suggested , responsible for what has happened. I can abhor, deplore and dream of launching vengeful war against the “doers” of the disastrous deeds and still confess that I’m in part, a very substantial part, responsible. Moore cites some of the reasons. We are in a sense inheriting the winds of wars we’ve allowed our politicians to wage on our collective behalf. The Arab terrorists are as berserk as they are hypocritical … sure; there’s never been a “true” religion preaching war, at least one sanctioning the slaughter of innocent and non-military people. But . . . just how true is what I just said? You may have bought it for a moment, but just look at the current edition of the Old Testament – the archive of our moral history and our modern morality. It’s the foundation of the Zionist conviction that there are in fact good enough reasons to wage wars of holy conversion and acquisition. Does capital-g God really have “chosen ones”? And, are they (the chosen ones) really just a few of us? Both the Muslim Koran and Judeo/Christian Bible say yes, yes.
The Arabs are righteously enraged over America’s being allied with the religious group (The Nation of Israel) with whom they have been feuding since Abraham’s progeny split similarly-semitic siblings into warring tribes. Stop just for a minute and think about walking a mile in their sandals – What if Mexicans all of a sudden declared they were going to retake and migrate into Texas because their god had told them it was their promised land and they should never have given it up.(Yeah, I know it looks like that’s already happening, but stay with me here…) And what if, while you and I are down there defending the land of the Alamo with our six-guns and bowie knives, a flock of Apache-type attack helicopters armed with smart rockets and Vulcan machine guns appears out of nowhere and rips us and our bowie knives to smithereens? And suppose further that we discover that these helicopters were given to the Mexicans by their allies, the Nation of Columbia, and we call up Columbia and ask them for some helicopters and they say “sorry, we no understand Ingles…”. How long would we tolerate having the Mexicans ripping us apart with the Columbian war machines before we decide to pay the Columbians a little visit? George W is presently hinting that he’s going to declare war against Afghanistan if it turns out they harbored Bin Laden – that is gave him a place to sleep and maybe preach to those future pilots of America. What would George W be threatening to do if it turned out Afghanistan gave Bin Laden the planes he used to take out the New York towers? Now take a second look at the way some Palestinians look at us.
How zealous a warrior would the U.S. have been in our “desert storm” if that storm had not put our oil supplies in harm’s way? Answer that while considering all the post-soviet Euro-Asian conflicts (and here we’re talking atrocities and wars of ethnic extinction) we have either stayed the hell away from or insulated ourselves from via our comfortable nest in NATO.
No, I’m not saying the U.S. should be punished or that any one or nation has the right to attack any one of us. I’m simply saying the West, to the rest of a backward and impoverished world – especially those countries Moore mentioned (Chile, Vietnam, Gaza, Salvador , etc.) is damned ugly. I think Moore’s cannons were a little loose with his juxtaposing the Twin Towers’ toppling with Bush’s recent bull-in-the-china-shop blunders abroad regarding Kyoto, nuclear defense, etc . . . as it’s more than obvious that the terrorists’ plans to infarct America’s heart ante-dated Bush’s idiotic actions by long months (or years).
No – Bush (I wince to concede) is not to blame for New York’s suffering. America itself, in significant part, is. We more than any other nation are responsible for the big picture problems of global warming , with our coal-powered industry and our wasteful , power-hungry society ; by our driving our gas-guzzling SUV’s to the polls to vote for any cretin who’ll guarantee us that, to keep those SUV’s and AC’s roaring, he’ll sacrifice our last sacred frontiers of natural life – and anything else, albeit Communist or Arab, that stands in the way of our manifest , capitalistic destiny.
If we (simply and no more) follow the second Bush crusade into the desert to ferret out and destroy the enemy, and call the job done when we get Afghanistan to spit up Bin Laden, then we’ll learn the French history lesson – “Plus ca change, plus la meme chose ” … (What goes around keeps coming around). The big – B I G PICTURE history is painting for us now is one of near perfect symmetry (I did not say “justice” or “Morality”). Our 911 event was, in effect, one of the end results of our own reckless and heedless consumption and environmental exploitation – rearing up, coming around and biting us on our back side (or rather piercing our heart – the “ground zero” of our capitalistic core).
DC is only nominally our capitol. Our true capitol is Capital and the corporations that have made it and the power it wields the polar star of the guidance system for space ship earth. The ironies are staggering – and sobering. We are allies of Israel because we need a stronghold and point for military maneuvering in the Middle East to insure our continued control and ability to continue our course of killing our ecosystem through recklessly burning the earth’s fossil fuels – that energy from the sun, stored magically in those glistening benzene rings in the exchanging of which our nation and those of the middle east remain perpetually , if lovelessly engaged. And we need their (Israel’s) military intelligence and infrastructure for contingencies like desert storm and whatever George W is in the process of presently pursuing.
And now come these maniacal messengers – these un-wise men from the East. Did they come to us atop Arabian stallions? Hardly. They came aboard our own ships, with Trojan stealth- each ship laden with 16,000 gallons of fossil fuel, drilled and pumped by our diamond-studded machines and steely inventiveness from the heart of the planet we are poisoning by piercing the spleen of its own body.
This same fossil fuel, with a relatively modest assist from some relatively mediocre middle-eastern minds, was injected and ignited ironically in the soft belly of the animal who effectively unearthed it and set it at large.
The irony of the ultimate utilization of fossil fuel to destroy the prime headquarters of the capitalist machine that engineered (through financing) its extraction and refinement is surpassed only by a collateral ecological irony and symmetry of mythical proportions. Environmentalists and perhaps all informed and intelligent observers of western society, especially American, would agree that the most damaging dual manifestation of our ecologically aberrant behavior is one enabled by our fossil-fuel industry – urban hypertrophy and sprawl. We centralize and concentrate our business and industry in areas which become so crowded from greedy over development that “skyscraping” mega-structures are the only remedies available (excluding long-extinct human self-restraint).
We concentrate so much population and machination in urban areas that the resulting compression and waste production make living in the places we work impossibly expensive, unhealthy and aesthetically abhorrent. So New Yorkers build two twin towers 1300 feet high to house the offices of 45,000 people, who after work, get in their SUV’s and trains and commute an average of 60 miles each way, converting in their “progress” a quarter million gallons of fuel a day into sky-smogging, lung clogging, acid-rain-making, and globe-warning greenhouse gas.
Urban sprawl – living in “the burbs” is American society’s fondest dream. And the environment’s worst nightmare. Architecturally , there may have been nothing more perfect in form and function than Manhattan’s twin towers. Ecologically there could be nothing uglier and more universally malignant than these daggers in the sky. Was the parable in Genesis 11 simply mythical , or was it perhaps prophetic? Of course there is more than a language gap dividing the people who occupied and those who destroyed the World Trade Center, but a gap in understanding and communications there certainly was, and remains between the radical Muslims and us western “infidels”.
Wasn’t the 911 event a little like the tale of Babel’s brazen tower? If there is, and I hope and pray it’s so, a kinship – if not identity – between creation (nature) and creator (God), then how could that creator not be as appalled at the arrogance and excessiveness of our late great towers as the God of the Old Testament was with the heavenly-heeped bricks of the Babylonians?
If a giant alien, with super-sensitive hearing had placed his titanic ear to the wall outside , say, 16 or so floors of either twin tower, with all the business and financial and cyber chatter of the computers and cell phones going on inside, would he have described the noise as anything but “babble” (that’s the origin of the word by the way)?
Do we understand anything about Osama Bin Laden? Do he or his followers know or understand anything about the people in the skyscrapers? In the Old Testament story, the Lord just came down and scattered the people in the building to different parts of the world, since they no longer spoke the same language. Both we and the Arab terrorists have had access to the same story, but we didn’t heed it. We all had e-mail, cell phones and FedEx to communicate with one other, but we were too busy . . . tending to business. Scattering the people apparently didn’t fix things in the wake of Babel’s story, so this time, they scattered the building.
The remarkable irony and symmetry of these events are in the choice of buildings. What all agree was the single most malevolent and heinous act of terrorism in the history of human kind (unless it was Hiroshima) amounts to the most efficacious and expeditious act of environmental remediation yet accomplished in America. I realize how quickly most would describe this observation as cruel and callous. I view it nonetheless as positive and hopeful. New York can’t unfortunately raise her fallen from the dead, but the City does have an opportunity now to change directions., to evolve.
History Lessons
(And for those WW II patriots who would scream “foul” at my passing mention of Hiroshima in the context of debating the fallout of terrorism, let me pause in passing that that venue on the way over Nagasaki towards NY and DC and mention some fairly embarrassing undeniable realities. The American patriots would contend that our dropping the holocaust bombs on Japanese civilian populations was an act morally calculated to save lives, by ending the war in the Pacific , which the Japanese were to stubborn to concede. Well, I concede some of the logic (if not the sentiment) in that line of rhetoric defending our offensive war conduct and ethics. What I would point out after that concession however is the hypocrisy in our presently “righteous rage”. The Arabs (mostly Muslim) have been at war with Israel (90 percent Hebrew) for a half century, and we have been Israel’s allies in that war for decades, and it doesn’t help the Arabs in their attitude toward us to hear that the U.S. Congress hasn’t formally declared war on the Arabs.
And while we are praising ourselves defensively for being Israel’s friends, loyal to them ’til the end in their struggle against their savage oppressors, let’s take a second look there and apply the litmus strip for hypocritical national narcissism. America comes up hot pink. Israel is the national theocratic state of the Jews. These are the same people we watched in the late 30′s and early 40′s being politically oppressed , ultimately kidnapped and systematically murdered in Europe and Russia in numbers that 8 digits can scarcely embrace. Where were we then with our abiding love for and alliance with the Jewish people? No – we didn’t declare our staunch support for the Jewish people until they fled from Europe to the desert and we found their Zionist dream coinciding with our capitalistic one . . which I suggest would never have occurred until the Jews set up an independent state in the midst of the Arabs who control an estimated 35 Percent of the globe’s oil reserves (our virtual life’s blood). As a personal anecdotal exclamation point to end this paragraph , I’ll recall for your benefit the fact that in 1948, the year Israel declared its independent statehood, I was living in a typical American town with a population of about 60,000 (mainly Christian) souls. The town had one country club. Jews weren’t allowed.
The Arabs know we are on Israel’s side, know we furnish them deadly arms and cutting-edge military expertise and know we collaborate with them in their cause (is this starting to sound a little like Bush’s caveat to Afghanistan about those “supporting”, “harboring” or “giving aid” to our terrorist enemies being our enemies?).
So far in the middle eastern war, how many Arabs do we suppose have been killed with American military planes and other weapons? I’m no authority (at this point) but I’d wager it’s a multiple of 6000. And for historic boot, the number of Japanese civilians who ultimately died in the original “ground(s) zero” and in their ten-year wake is in excess of 600,000 souls. That’s about 100 times our recent casualties combining air passengers and tenants of our Twin Towers and Pentagon.
And for one final irony, wasn’t it amazingly naïve for New Yorkers and the American media to have adopted as their badge of red courage the moniker the American Eagle left (“ground zero”) to mark the spot it laid down the nuclear neonates it fondly named “Little Boy” and “Fat Man”? In that analogy, making New York “ground zero” likens us to Imperial Japan, and our terrorists to . . . (you got it) us. Wake up , America and smell the napalm. Where have all the flowers gone?
Before you answer, take this pop quiz (sorry, no million -dollar prize offered … only our lives depend on our ability to answer): How many wars have been fought over Palestine in the past 50 years? How many middle eastern countries have attacked and been attacked by Israel in that time? What country built the bomber and manufactured the bombs used by Israel when it unilaterally bombed Iraq over 20 years ago (remember, Saddam, Bagdad, desert storm and all that “Defense of Kuwait” thing we did a while back ?) to prevent them from building a nuclear power plant ? What’s the main religion of Kuwait now? Howabout Iraq? What would happen to America if our supply of mideastern oil was cut off? What would Americans have to do to end our dependency on Arab oil? Would Americans be willing to do any of those things? If we’d never become dependent on Arab oil, would 6,000 more Americans be living today? What are the differences in the teachings of Muhammad (the 600AD born prophet in the religion of Islam) and those of Jesus Christ? Is there any significant difference in the stories and lessons taught in the Bible of the Judeo-Christian people and those taught in the Muslim’s Koran? How many Americans could pass (with a score of 50 percent) this quiz? Two (2) percent? Maybe. I’ll tell you what the Average American knows about these issues and our Islamic enemies: babble babble babble When will (we) ever learn?)
The World Trade Center for the most part today was archaic, even though the structure was only 29 years old. Computers and wireless communications have long ago enabled industry and business in general to decentralize, re-integrate and coordinate their collective activities in cyberspace. Contiguous walls and halls with paper trays and trails aren’t all that essential these days. Business must have some reception and conference rooms where physical objects and personalities can be touched and mingled. But the clocked-in , nine-to-five grind for all workers is just a vestigial habit in the cases of most corporate functioning, and the progressive and avante guarde are already paying their computer-equipped agents and employees to leave their SUV’s in the garage awaiting the vacations they can now take . . . back in the big and exciting city, whose sun, moon and view of heaven need no longer be eclipsed by a row of megastructures. They do their working at home, where they can breathe the fresh air that millions of similarly-enlightened citizens didn’t pollute with commuting to their employer’s urban centers.
Every machine we have created which had a purpose or tendency to exploit either the environment or the more humble creatures we share it with has wound up being turned in our direction. Russia, Red China, Pakistan and India, and probably a dozen more of our potential enemies have our E=MC sq’d creations in their arsenals. They’re working on delivery systems as I write. Think of what we’d be facing today if it had occurred to Bin Laden to have his kamikazies carry briefcase nukes aboard our four luxury airlines instead of plastic knives. Are we going to restrict our remedial plans to hunting down all terrorists and destroying them by preemptive strike? We don’t have that many C.I. Agents, and the A’s we have apparently don’t have that much I.
So, now I’ve joined Michael Moore and had my little purge. It’s been a rant I’ve needed to purge since the Arabs aborted my recent N.Y. trip (I had an appointment Wednesday, and was headed up there Tuesday morning when hell broke loose). Guess Allah spared me so I could burden other infidels with my own post-traumatic dis-ease.
In closing, let me urge us all, while we’re cheering George W and the C.I.A. on in their pursuit of the dread desert rats who converted our planes into guided missiles , and while we’re out there standing behind George W. who’s out there standing behind Colin P.and Norman S., who are out there standing behind our children who are out there standing behind the tanks, missiles and smart bombs that will be killing the people who stood behind the ones who killed us with those planes, we need to remember : (1) They were our planes. (2) Each one of them (hundreds of times a day) was toting, and burning 16,000 gallons of 200 million-year-old vegetable oil we purloined from Arabian earth to feed our ugly addiction to forty-fold the world-average quanta of consumption and creature comforts. (3) The Arabs, these terrorists, quite rationally think and righteously feel that we and they have been at war since we became openly allied with Israel, which is openly at war with them (most of the time). Accordingly, they feel just as morally justified in bombing us in New York as we felt justified in bombing Japan in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. By our President’s own 911 proclamation, those who aide and abet our enemies are at war with us. (4) Behind the heroics of great warriors there is apt to be great love – of country, family, freedom and self. Behind the mask of the suicidal terrorist there is apt to be great suffering. (There’s also, I’ve recently heard, the promise that Muslim suicide/martyr-warriors get to take the people they kill (all of them) into the next world as their personal slaves – this for those of you who, as I, have wondered how terrorists incentivize Arab youth to attend flight school abroad for a year when for graduation they get a one-way ticket to oblivion. Turns out it ain’t oblivion – it’s more like Club Med al la Allah.) But the point is, the ones who killed us were not cowards, but rather a few among many zealots all willing to pay the ultimate price for their cause, all of which shows that (5) We Americans have a lot to learn about the rest of the world and its suffering – especially the suffering we may have a hand in, and finally (6) While we’re seeking and setting out to destroy the ones who carved the course of history culminating in the events of 9/11/01, we had better be prepared to spy among these villains ourselves.
Of course, this is just an opinion, and just like Michael Moore and Dennis Miller, I could be wrong. But while there a scintilla of a chance I’m right , and while George W is out there searching for the road to what he’s blithely hailing as “the first war of the Twenty-first Century” (is he promising us more?) , I’m going to be out there searching for a road less traveled. So, now, as we’re treading in the darkness down the roads of our respective and collective choices in search of fugitive Peace, I invite – and beseech you – stand behind me , your friend,
Dusty (Robert R. Schoch, Attorney/Writer/Environmentalist,
607 Overbrook Drive, High Point N.C. 27262
Let’s consider two combatants contemplating war against one another and make a wager on which will be victorious before their war begins (“victorious” meaning : “to get the outcome the combatant wants in the war”).
On one side are the “haystacks.” They are the common-variety haystacks, made of golden harvested grass, pitched high in a pile , shining in the sun. These haystacks want to endure , intact, until their destinies are fulfilled by deployment into the service of their makers. On the other side are the “matches” – all of them the self-igniting stick variety, having the general size , shape and aspect of large needles without eyes.
The ultimate purpose of all the matches is to set fire to all the haystacks. The easiest way to accomplish this is for the matches to imbed themselves deep inside the haystacks , where, because of their small size and the haystacks’ greater mass , it is easy for them to remain hidden until the call for ignition. When the call to ignite is given by the leaders of the matches, all the matches in all the haystacks will strike themselves and go up in flames along with their individual haystack hosts. Being thusly consumed , however, is no defeat or problem for the matches, who are all trained by masterful match mentors to believe that when they are immolated in a haystack fire they themselves start, they will be instantly transported – intact and unscathed into an after life where they’ll be safe and happy forever – that being , cushioned amidst the churlish labia and securely-clenched teeth of an aspiring cinema cowboy , sitting on a subservient bale of hay in the non-smoking section of a sushi bar in lower L.A. watching CNN and waiting for a Hollywood talent agent to phone.
Now for the wager: When all the matches in the world are safely and securely ensconced in all the haystacks in the world, and the haystacks declare war on the matches and threaten to seek them out and set them on fire, tell me , where are you going to place your bets?
REVOLUTIONARY WAR ON TERRORISM :
The Problem:The Enemy
Our terrorist enemies are stateless. Their principal bond is their only identifying feature – the mask of holy Muslim Warrior waging a self-proclaimed revolutionary Jihad, pursuant to an auto-generated edict , or Fatwa, calling for the death of all Americans and other ” infidels”. These terrorist fanatics are willing (and in many cases wanting) to die for their cause. We are not contending with the typical motives of a territorially-acquisitive invader like Saddam Hussein; we are being attacked by a perverted belief system and the zealous followers of a brilliant and psychotic charismatic leadership. The most effective force to overcome such a belief system is the force which created it, according to one Aikido principle of martial art. We can kill any number of terrorists, provided we find them, but the only power that can disarm the entire disparate band of holy warriors is the power that created and sustains them. Like it or no, these terrorists are on a holy mission. It is rationally and theologically a twisted and perverted mission, but a mission perceived by its zealous executors as by and for Allah nonetheless . Only Islam can intervene to “end” (as opposed to “win”) this newly-declared war on Islamic Terrorism. Fortunately there may be a way this can be accomplished.
Discovering a solution to the problem doesn’t end the problem – only implementing it does. The terrorist threat presents a compound problem that must be solved on three levels: the immediate, the core and the ultimate .
The ultimate problem will be dealing with the terrorists when and if we identify and locate them. The core problem is discovering a means of identifying and locating the enemy. The immediate problem is discovering the means of communicating the solutions to the core problem to our administration and military leadership.
What follows is a proposal for solving the core problem – identifying and locating the enemy. A secondary purpose of the present writing is to enlist the reader in the task of solving the immediate problem – getting the core solution to the leadership whose task is to execute the ultimate solution, and getting it to them in time … before we run amuck and enable the Bin Laden’s out there to realize their ultimate goal of global Armageddon.
The Terrorist’s Prophesy and Plan
Bin Laden wants and needs this “war between Islam and the rest of the world”, in the aftermath of which, he plans to become Iyatolla Mondo. If Americans follow through with their covert , obtuse and inchoate plans to invade Afghanistan – or any Muslim state, on the ground or in the air , innocent people will die. Muslim innocents. This will fulfill bin Laden’s prophesy, confirm his status as a prophet of Islam and quite possibly mark the beginning of the true mother of all wars – Islam vs. the rest of the world. The least we stand to lose in such a war are our oil supplies and economic viability; the most , along with others, our peaceful existence (pardon the arguable redundancy) . Fortunately there may be a way to avoid all this and still accomplish the ultimate goal of defeating the terrorists in their quest for Armageddon and world domination by default.
In Pursuit of the Core : Premises With the possible exception of Israel, every Middle Eastern country directly or indirectly depends on oil, U.S. distribution of petro products and U.S. (world) economic stablity to survive. Automobiles and computers today are material and corporate composits of multi-national industry. The stock markets and monetary systems of the East , West and Europe , while posing as disparate and autonomous performers on the shimmering surface of commerce, are symbiotic and even incestuous beneath the currents of international competition. Presently the world is watching while its capital resources are beginning to trickle down a deep and dark hole an alarmingly few Persian pirates dug in the soil and soul of New York’s treasured island. Bin Laden’s terrorist team , if successful, could ultimately destroy Western , OPEC and conceivably the entire world’s economies . The keystone of economic stability is confidence. The sheiks and clerics who control Islam have been to school or else have a dozen or more sons who have. The concept that bin Laden’s agenda, unimpeded , could render the Twin Towers but the first to fall in a global house of cards is not beyond their ken. 2 Bin Laden’s counterfeit fatwa against the U.S. and others is, according to true Islamic law, criminally false and heretic. There is no room for debate on this point – unless one is debating an Islamic terrorist. 3 Islamic leaders and clerics in conjunction with secular heads of Arab state dominate the governments in all Islamic countries, including Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, Pakistan , Afghanistan and the rest. 4 Seeking out , locating and eliminating Bin Laden and his twenty-thousand-strong, stateless, multi-nationally-based net strewn out in all these disparate territories is MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, at least for the U.S, with use of conventional machinations and tactics. It’s Viet Nam times ten … maybe twenty. 5 Bin Laden’s strength and the sine qua non of his terrorist revolution is his ability to convince uneducated, impoverished, desperate , marginal Islamic people that the U.S. and other “infidel” capitalistic people are the cause of their miseries, and that a holy war (Jihad) waged against them will improve their miserable plight. 6 Bin Laden’s phony fatwa and his united Jihad war are , according to Islamic law, not only criminally wrong, but religiously hypocritical and heretic, such as would justify a fatwa and Jihad being declared and waged against him and his terrorist network. Why isn’t it already? Indeed. The point. FORWARD TO THE PRESENT The preceding was written entirely looking forward to the war in Afghanistan. As B.E.A. founder, I was recently (in June 2004) asked by a Midwestern blog to respond to a question related to Bush’s more recent Islamic blunder….Iraq. His remedy to combat the Islamic matches in the world’s haystacks is to set them on fire apparently. Even though 20 percent (one in five) Frenchmen are Islamic, and even though we have probably three million of them in the U.S. and close to 2 billion of them ensconced in every country around the globe, and even though we haven’t established that Iraq had anything at all to do with 9/11, we have killed over 100,000 of their non-militant Islamic citizens (not to mention over 1,500 of our own valiant servicemen and women) and in the process fulfilled every one of bin Laden’s wishes and prophesies. Ideally, where COULD we go from here to begin to reverse the damage Bush and his neo-con fascist crazies have done? In a whim of magical wishfulness, I scribed the following answer. Although I wrote this before we “liberated Iraq” and declared another “victory” in the war on terror, I wouldn’t change a word of it today… As far as war on Islamic terrorism, we’ve only just STARTED it… QUESTION: You’ve just replaced George W. Bush as president. (Don’t ask how.) What do you do about Iraq, and why? Don’t look back; look forward. Be specific…. ANSWER: I would declare and host an international summit to “Reverse Jihad”. To the summit I would invite the head clerics and secular leaders of every Islamic country on the planet. When the meeting was called to order I would get down upon my knees before the entire assembly and say: “In the name of Allah, God, Jehova, Elohim, Jesus and Mohammed and the unmentioned gods and prophets of all here assembled, I apologize on behalf of myself and my country and its allies for having wrongfully and mistakenly invaded Iraq. I beg your forgiveness for our errors and for the lives lost and suffering incurred by this ill-conceived campaign of war, and I enlist your assistance in helping me make amends, and helping restore peace and prosperity to the people of Iraq. To accomplish this, I propose as follows.” A sketch of the plan I would propose and implement would include: I would insist that the oil trust continue for a period of up to ten years, during which time I would publicly announce the Federal funding and implementing of a Detroit/Manhattan project, where the American auto and HVAC industries were incentived (through tax benefits to manufacturers and consumers) to design, develop and purchase energy-efficient vehicles and residential and commercial heating and air conditioning technologies to totally terminate U.S. reliance on Middle Easter Oil by the end of the ten-year period of Reverse Jihad Détente. It could be accomplished in half that time with already-extant technologies. The attack of 9/11 on the Twin Towers of New York was not about Saddam Hussein or the Baath Party’s oppression of Iraq’s Shiite majority. The attack of 9/11 had to do with America’s alliance with Israel in its Zionist war with the Arabian Pennisula and American’s alliance with the Shieks of Saudi Arabia and other OPEC states. The attack on Iraq had nothing to do with the attack of 9/11, and served only to fulfill the prophesies of bin Laden and the other fundamentalist Islamics who look about themselves in the land others refer to as the latters’ “promised land” and see only the automobiles, condos, harems and castles of rich sheiks and their western partners who together mine and market their sacred holy land’s only supply of virtual milk and honey…Arabian crude. To the average Saudi, Israel is an American military ally, and the House of Saud, an American puppet regime. They believe this is so because it’s so. Until the wealth of the Middle East is shared with its largely destitude and desperate Islamic inhabitants, those who are allowed inside to reap that wealth will be viewed as “infidel” and pariah from the windows of the ubiquitous mosques. As “power pointed” dipolmacy, any resistence to any proposals I’d (as president) make as hereinabove outlined would be met with the pat PAX-American PNAC pronouncement that is today’s state of affairs… “Well, all I can say to you Shieks, and you Clerics, and all your dissatisfied constituencies, whether civil or terroristic is…Unless you reverse this Jihad against America, Israel and your Saudi citizenry and the oil pipelines we cherish and depend upon in common, we highly-militarized Coaliationists are here to stay….It’s your call.” Respectfully submitted by Robert R. (Dusty) Schoch, B.E.A. June 19, 2004. |
|||
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights that among these are life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights Governments are instituted among men, deriving their powers from the consent of those governed…Excerpt from The Declaration of Independence |
“Matches and Haystacks”
(An Arabian Allegory)
Let’s consider two combatants contemplating war against one another and make a wager on which will be victorious before their war begins (“victorious” meaning : “to get the outcome the combatant wants in the war”).
On one side are the “haystacks.” They are the common-variety haystacks, made of golden harvested grass, pitched high in a pile , shining in the sun. These haystacks want to endure , intact, until their destinies are fulfilled by deployment into the service of their makers. On the other side are the “matches” – all of them the self-igniting stick variety, having the general size , shape and aspect of large needles without eyes.
The ultimate purpose of all the matches is to set fire to all the haystacks. The easiest way to accomplish this is for the matches to imbed themselves deep inside the haystacks , where, because of their small size and the haystacks’ greater mass , it is easy for them to remain hidden until the call for ignition. When the call to ignite is given by the leaders of the matches, all the matches in all the haystacks will strike themselves and go up in flames along with their individual haystack hosts. Being thusly consumed , however, is no defeat or problem for the matches, who are all trained by masterful match mentors to believe that when they are immolated in a haystack fire they themselves start, they will be instantly transported – intact and unscathed into an after life where they’ll be safe and happy forever - that being , cushioned amidst the churlish labia and securely-clenched teeth of an aspiring cinema cowboy , sitting on a subservient bale of hay in the non-smoking section of a sushi bar in lower L.A. watching CNN and waiting for a Hollywood talent agent to phone.
Now for the wager: When all the matches in the world are safely and securely ensconced in all the haystacks in the world, and the haystacks declare war on the matches and threaten to seek them out and set them on fire, tell me , where are you going to place your bets?
REVOLUTIONARY WAR ON TERRORISM :
“REVERSE JIHAD”
When you’re marching to war in the dark , in the enemy’s own territory, and you have no idea of his whereabouts – not to mention his identity - do you turn to the strategies of Generals Patton and Rommel, or Ceaser’s Gallic Wars? Although the principles of conventional warfare helped expedite the outcome of Desert Storm, they were little help with the Viet Cong and they’ll be of even lesser utility in ferreting out those ghosts of Jihad hiding in the mountains of Afghanistan and in as remote hideouts in possibly twenty other countries. This time, rather than Schwartzkoff and the Manual of Arms, I think we’re going to need something akin to Aikido, Islamic style, al la Allah. We’re going to need “Reverse Jihad”.
The Problem:The Enemy
Our terrorist enemies are stateless. Their principal bond is their only identifying feature - the mask of holy Muslim Warrior waging a self-proclaimed revolutionary Jihad, pursuant to an auto-generated edict , or Fatwa, calling for the death of all Americans and other “ infidels”. These terrorist fanatics are willing (and in many cases wanting) to die for their cause. We are not contending with the typical motives of a territorially-acquisitive invader like Saddam Hussein; we are being attacked by a perverted belief system and the zealous followers of a brilliant and psychotic charismatic leadership. The most effective force to overcome such a belief system is the force which created it, according to one Aikido principle of martial art. We can kill any number of terrorists, provided we find them, but the only power that can disarm the entire disparate band of holy warriors is the power that created and sustains them. Like it or no, these terrorists are on a holy mission. It is rationally and theologically a twisted and perverted mission, but a mission perceived by its zealous executors as by and for Allah nonetheless . Only Islam can intervene to “end” (as opposed to “win”) this newly-declared war on Islamic Terrorism. Fortunately there may be a way this can be accomplished.
The Solution(s)
Discovering a solution to the problem doesn’t end the problem – only implementing it does. The terrorist threat presents a compound problem that must be solved on three levels: the immediate, the core and the ultimate .
The ultimate problem will be dealing with the terrorists when and if we identify and locate them. The core problem is discovering a means of identifying and locating the enemy. The immediate problem is discovering the means of communicating the solutions to the core problem to our administration and military leadership.
What follows is a proposal for solving the core problem – identifying and locating the enemy. A secondary purpose of the present writing is to enlist the reader in the task of solving the immediate problem - getting the core solution to the leadership whose task is to execute the ultimate solution, and getting it to them in time … before we run amuck and enable the Bin Laden’s out there to realize their ultimate goal of global Armageddon.
The Terrorist’s Prophesy and Plan
Bin Laden wants and needs this “war between Islam and the rest of the world”, in the aftermath of which, he plans to become Iyatolla Mondo. If Americans follow through with their covert , obtuse and inchoate plans to invade Afghanistan – or any Muslim state, on the ground or in the air , innocent people will die. Muslim innocents. This will fulfill bin Laden’s prophesy, confirm his status as a prophet of Islam and quite possibly mark the beginning of the true mother of all wars – Islam vs. the rest of the world. The least we stand to lose in such a war are our oil supplies and economic viability; the most , along with others, our peaceful existence (pardon the arguable redundancy) . Fortunately there may be a way to avoid all this and still accomplish the ultimate goal of defeating the terrorists in their quest for Armageddon and world domination by default.
In Pursuit of the Core : Premises
1
With the possible exception of Israel, every Middle Eastern country directly or indirectly depends on oil, U.S. distribution of petro products and U.S. (world) economic stablity to survive. Automobiles and computers today are material and corporate composits of multi-national industry. The stock markets and monetary systems of the East , West and Europe , while posing as disparate and autonomous performers on the shimmering surface of commerce, are symbiotic and even incestuous beneath the currents of international competition. Presently the world is watching while its capital resources are beginning to trickle down a deep and dark hole an alarmingly few Persian pirates dug in the soil and soul of New York’s treasured island. Bin Laden’s terrorist team , if successful, could ultimately destroy Western , OPEC and conceivably the entire world’s economies . The keystone of economic stability is confidence. The sheiks and clerics who control Islam have been to school or else have a dozen or more sons who have. The concept that bin Laden’s agenda, unimpeded , could render the Twin Towers but the first to fall in a global house of cards is not beyond their ken.
2
Bin Laden’s counterfeit fatwa against the U.S. and others is, according to true Islamic law, criminally false and heretic. There is no room for debate on this point - unless one is debating an Islamic terrorist.
3
Islamic leaders and clerics in conjunction with secular heads of Arab state dominate the governments in all Islamic countries, including Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, Pakistan , Afghanistan and the rest.
4
Seeking out , locating and eliminating Bin Laden and his twenty-thousand-strong, stateless, multi-nationally-based net strewn out in all these disparate territories is MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, at least for the U.S, with use of conventional machinations and tactics. It’s Viet Nam times ten … maybe twenty.
5
Bin Laden’s strength and the sine qua non of his terrorist revolution is his ability to convince uneducated, impoverished, desperate , marginal Islamic people that the U.S. and other “infidel” capitalistic people are the cause of their miseries, and that a holy war (Jihad) waged against them will improve their miserable plight.
6
Bin Laden’s phony fatwa and his united Jihad war are , according to Islamic law, not only criminally wrong, but religiously hypocritical and heretic, such as would justify a fatwa and Jihad being declared and waged against him and his terrorist network. Why isn’t it already? Indeed. The point.
7
Presently , Bush, C. Powell, the U.S. Congress , State Department and Armed Forces are all frenetically deliberating on a means of coaxing unfriendly or luke-warm (to America) Arab nations to assist us in the war we’ve declared against bin Laden and the pseudo-Islamic terrorists. To this end, Bush is contemplating a bootleg turn in dipolmacy (from Clinton’s plan) to unilaterally propound statehood for Palestine. He’s obviously contemplating the concession of this precious Arabic quid without realizing the potential of the Western quo he could lever in exchange. All he stands to gain is Arab approval and good will, and maybe some passively-aggressive tokens in the way of fly-over nods and possible air base concessions.
8
When we were listening to the speech given by Iran’s deputy foreign minister to the U.N. on Oct. 2nd, we heard him state that the highest Islamic leader of Iran had recently declared that “the war against the terrorists itself amounts to Jihad.” Was anyone listening? Islamic leaders from virtually all Middle Eastern kingdoms and countries have , since September 11, met and unanimously condemned all past and recent acts of terrorism as criminal and “non-Islamic” , and where self-denominated as such, “heretic”. Was anyone listening? More recently, and since it has come to light that not only bin Laden, but perhaps as many as 15 of the 19 September 11 hijackers were native Saudi Arabian, America’s most strategically and economically important Middle Eastern ally acknowledged through its interior minister (Prince Nayif bin Abd al-Aziz al-Saud) that Kingdom’s vulnerability to (and by implication , responsibility for) home-grown terrorism:
“We will not forget that those who now are in their caves and burrows, they are the ones who do harm to the Kingdom” . . . “and unfortunately Muslims are being held accountable for them although Islam is innocent . . .” Declaring that no one, not even their relatives, should show terrorists sympathy, the Prince added: “The body has diseases and some organ could be diseased. So the diseased organ must be removed.” *
Was anyone listening?
9
Two things should have crystalized in our thinking upon the occasions of these epiphanic utterances: First , that Bin Laden, his Taliban and the whole terrorist cult are essentially problems of Arab generation and etiology, and accordingly, exist and persist as essentially Islamic problems . We in the West are simply the most recent secondary victims of the Islamic body’s terrorist disease and its sequelae . Second , that we were being handed – by the ministers of Iran and Saudi Arabia – both the ideologic means, and the theological/political precedent to solve the core problem of current terrorism.
We should be sympathetic with the deplorable living conditions of the war-weary and leary Afghani’s. But the Taliban is over there - in control of them , over there. We are over here. Yes, we may have played our part in the Cold War which created the governmental void which the Taliban filled upon Russia’s retreat. But , though we are all reaping the harvests sewn in that war, no one is really to blame for terrorism but the terrorists , Bin Laden and the Taliban.
“Islamic terrorism” may be oxymoronic , but it is also a reality – as much a reality one could argue as were the savage wars of religious conversion waged centuries ago by Christians and Muslims both denominated
“crusades” . But, again, let us insist that, although it has killed some of us Westerners and horrified us all, Islamic terrorism is fundamentally an Arab problem, and more accurately, an intramural problem within the world’s Islamic community which should be dealt with as such.
* Sciolina, Elaine , “Naming of Hijackers as Saudis May Further Erode Ties to U.S.”, N.Y.Times, Oct. 25, 2001.
The Solution : “REVERSE JIHAD” *
The solution ? Get the word to Bush to muster instantly all American allies in NATO and elsewhere and , in a coalition with them, call for an Arab/Islamic Summit – a joint summit to which essentially two internally-aligned coalitions are party – with one (The coalition of Islamic Arab nations) hosting, and the other (“Western Coalition”) being invitees. Accordingly, the Arabs would invite the U.S. and its current corps of allies to attend the Summit as such – friends and allies in the as-yet undeclared war (Jihad) for Islamic unity , purification and security. The Summit should be called “Arab/Islamic” in lieu of “Arab/Western” or “Arab/Allied” or “Arab/(Any)other” to emphasize and memorialize the fact that the Summit’s purpose is to address and solve what is essentially an Arab/Islamic problem, i.e., the problem of ending pseudo-Islamic-Jihad terrorism.
The diplomatic agenda proposed for the Summit by the Western to the Arab Coalition would be to give the Arab coalition its choice, viz. (1) the alternative of having the U.S. and allied nations carry forward, as outsiders the ongoing “war on terrorism” as forecast by Bush, in the course of which those armed forces would enter Afghanistan and other Arab nations where terrorists reside in order to eliminate them with military force and other means, or (2) to have the U.S. and its allies hold invasive plans indefinitely in abeyance while the united coalition of Arab nations declares and wages (with the assistance of the U.S. and its allies) Holy War (Jihad) against the heretic terrorists who have falsely and criminally declared a Jihad against innocent peoples who are friends and allies of those united nations of Islam.
In the course of waging this United Reverse Jihad, the Islamic authorities would be nominally leaders, and the secular (armed) forces of both the Arab nations and Western Coalition would act as deputized Jihad warriors, such that any and all military operations would be in the nature of assisted internal affairs
or police actions (as opposed to invasive acts of limited warfare). More importantly, all military operations would be cloaked in the legitimacy of an official Arab/Islamic campaign. Since , under Islamic law, no terrorists (except those condemned by fatwa) could be attacked (at least by any foreign power) until tried, they would be subjected to military force only to the extent required to obtain their arrest and confinement pending their Islamic trials. It is to be doubted that many terrorists would willingly surrender to be tried in a tribunal which would certainly be concluded by a guilty verdict and execution. The processes of their apprehension and arrest alone would reveal their identities, actions and whereabouts to their “infidel” Western predators.
For those terrorists who are captured or who surrender themselves , it is suggested that no better outcome could be possible than having a so-called Islamic “Jihad warrior” arrested , tried and imprisoned by an Arab/Islamic tribunal, as perhaps the worst outcome would have been his martyrdom (viz., his being killed in the conduct of Jihad by “Western Infidels”). It is most likely that any terrorists identified and sought under such a system of justice would flee, resist arrest and die at the hands of deputies in the course of search and arrest. In cases where the terrorist is well known or the evidence brought against him clear, a fatwa would be issued which amounts to a non-adjudicative condemnation in absentia which would leave fright and flight the terrorist’s only options.
* “Reverse Jihad” is at once a noun phrase and a (strategically) imperative sentence.
The immediate effect of the summit proposal (alternative #2) would be to force each individual Arab state off the Middle-Eastern fence and require it to declare to the world its position on the purportedly autonomous terrorism being launched from inside its borders. In a perhaps less Machiavellian , but similar fashion, the U.S. recently – and effectively – forced the Taliban to confirm its identity with Bin Laden by ordering it in essence to arrest and hurl him before the Western juggernaut.
It is likely that the other Arab states are somewhat less dysfunctionally co-dependent on their respective resident terrorists and will recognize early-on that prolonging alliances with them will be their ultimate undoing . As the U.S. and Israel adjust their historic embrace , with Palestine and Arab terrorism and détente at stake, so will the Arab Sheiks and Clerics reassess their covert affairs with the terrorist elements in their Bedouin bailiwicks, considering the same stakes from opposite sides of the table.
The seeds and sentiment for this assault on Saudi somnolence are in the hawkish winds of Washington politics already as evidenced by recent declarations of Senator Joesph R. Biden (Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee) in which he said not only that Saudi Arabia was “funding hatred”, but that the United States has “gone overboard in its love affair with Saudi Arabia” , and more pointedly: “I know they’ve got a lot of oil, but they need us more than we need them.” *
The Arabs’ “2nd alternative” will require all Arab states willing to participate actively to identify, condemn and turn over Islamic terrorists within their borders and thus demonstrate , rather than merely declare , their allegiances.
If the Arab Coalition elects to exercise the Jihad alternative (as is anticipated), the summit would go forward to deliberate on and design the various tasks to be assigned to and performed , respectively , by the Arab Coalition and their western-deputy-Jihad warriors. For obvious reasons, the Western Coalition should bargain for deputy power separate but equal to police authority delegated to their Arab military counterparts. The policing powers delegated to officers of the Western Coalition would be “cooperatively – but where necessary – collaterally exercisable” , again for obvious reasons.
If Bush and Congress truly want to follow the English precedent and parlay traditional ties with Israel in our anxious quest for more strategically-serviceable national alliances , then let’s get some mileage out of the inconstancy with and for which Israel will certainly charge us , and win the war against pseudo-Islamic terrorism at the same time.
The first thing to do is to educate and re-direct Bush in his current mission. The name of the strategy is Fifth-Column Warfare – inserting (or fostering ) a warrior-contingent within the camp of the enemy . The end purpose of the strategy is to instigate a reverse jihad by which Islam purges itself of its currently pervasive brand of pseudo-Islamic jihad terrorism .
The inducement is easy. First, bartering for an independent Palestine, however efficacious and long- overdue, is probably not necessary. But if it’s bound under Bush’s plan to be done, then “ ‘t wer well it were done quickly” – and as bargained-for consideration for the alliances we are seeking and desperately need. The pact to be negotiated in such alliances would be one of contingent obligation on part of the
* Sciolina, Elaine , “Naming of Hijackers as Saudis May Further Erode Ties to U.S.”, N.Y.Times, Oct. 25, 2001
United States – U.S.-sponsored/U.N. enacted and enforced statehood for Palestine – in exchange for and only following a successful condemnation and purging by the Islamic Coalition states (with Western assistance) of its pseudo-Islamic terrorists through a united execution of the Coalition’s Reverse Jihad (Holy War).
Moreover, the timing for such an alliance and pact could hardly be more propitious from the American standpoint, as our position as instigator in the Palestinian concession would be diplomatically diluted in the mainstream and momentum of the Allied Coalition actions.
Bush’s advance diplomats could make it clear that one bargaining chip on the summit table would be American endorsement of an independent Palestine. The other chips would be , purely and simply the pieces of silver (oil currency and continuity) that sell out all covert terrorist allies and purchase their own (Arab) survival.
In the course of launching its call for a United Arab Reverse Jihad, the Western Coalition could make it clear that unless we get what we need and want from the Arab Countries convened at the summit, the terrorists could potentially have their way, in which case OPEC, the U.S. and the world economy at large are going en masse to hell in a hand basket. No more oil money. No more arab crown princes educated in Ivy league schools abroad. No more Mercedes. No more harems with infinite supplies of unveiled virgins. No more whathaveyou – and, of course, no independent Palestine. With what’s left of the American economy during its second depression, we’ll be able to fuel our mopeds and space heaters on home-grown oil. Exit OPEC opulence. When oil sheiks are asked to dip into personal tills to make their countries’ cash flow, that thought for them will prove unthinkable.
So, what do we ask in exchange for an independent Palestine and keeping OPEC’s and the world economies alive? Nothing but what the Islamic nations should already have done and be doing now - drafting a joint/collective fatwa against bin Laden and all pseudo-Islamic terrorists . They are infidels under Islamic law, and since they are murdering innocent civilians, they are , according to their Quer’an subject to having holy war (Jihad) declared against them. And the Arab sheiks and their clerical colleagues in Islam will never be tendered a more attractive opportunity to get rid of the perilous parasites inside their tents – and oil fields. While appearing in command of the infidels temporarily in their midst upon holy turf, the authorities of Islam can use Western war machines and technicians superior to those of the terrorists to physically exterminate at once the pests of Allah , Ellohim, and Jehova .
The minute the legitimate clerical authorities of all major nations of Islam issue a fatwa (and only the highest authorities in Islamic countries can issue a legitimate fatwa) and declare truly-Islamic Jihad against Bin Laden and his terrorist entourage as infidels, the tale of his terrorist reign is in denouement . He and his “Al Qaeda” (base) and the entire terrorist net will have forfeited altogether their feigned authenticity. Every mosque will now be chanting out the truth of bin Laden’s treachery and he will become pariah. He will become prey.
Looking Forward to Ultimate Solutions
The Islamic denizens of Arab countries will know where to look for Bin Laden and his lot – they (or their cousins and friends) are currently harboring and shielding him – in the name and cause of Allah. But when the “true” leaders and clerics of Islam , who control Islamic mosques and media, unite in condemning Bin Laden as a phony and Infidel, and issue an official Fatwa against him, suicide will become his most expedient option. He will have no place to hide. We wouldn’t have to bomb villages or Bedouin camps in hopes of a serendipitous kill. We would assist the Arab authorities as we assisted Afghanistan in its successful war with Russia; except this time we will openly participate – as deputies. Whenever the “human intelligence” provided by the Arabs uncovers a terrorist target against which the Arabs are reluctant to move, we “Western Deputies of Jihad” would be there prepared to obtain closure.
But our conduct of the war would be diplomatically characterized “allied advisement and assistance” only, and not labeled “alien intrusion.” This way, if innocent Islamics become victim to friendly fire, whoever fires the shot or missile – whether it be Islamic Jihad warrior or American deputy - is forgiven when the projectile inevitably goes astray. The unintended killing of innocents is exempt from sanction under Islamic rules of waging Jihad.
Procedure and Precedent
Getting the Arabs to meet in summit and commit to launching their own strategic and holy war against their own worst enemy is as logical as it is expedient – for all concerned . If holy and supreme Islamic clerics can issue a kill-on-sight edict to all faithful Muslims for the elimination of one innocuous writer for misconstruing a few chapters of Islamic history, there is ample precedent for drawing a fatwa for a band of infidels who are not only perverting Islamic law and history but flagrantly counterfeiting official fatwas and declarations of false holy wars and murdering innocents, including Muslims, in the process. The publishing of false “Satanic Verses” is nothing compared to the killing of innocents falsely in the name of Allah, but the condemnation of its author by official Fatwa of Islam affords us recent, relevant and persuasive precedent.
As for the theological basis for the proposed summit declaration of Jihad by a coalition of Islamic countries , we have for further precedent and authority the recent pronouncement of Iran’s highest Islamic Leader, who was quoted by his Country’s Deputy Foreign Minister in a recent (October 2) speech before the United Nations as having said in regard to middle-eastern – based terrorism : “The war against terrorism is tantamount to …Jihad”. On the authority of that pronouncement, one could argue Deputy Bush is already waging jihad in Afghanistan.
Once Jihad is declared by a coalition of Islamic nations, our war to eradicate terrorism could easily be over for the most part at that very moment – and without the spilling of a drop of American or Muslim blood. By virtue of official Jihad being declared against him, Bin Laden and the rest are instantly and mortally excommunicated from the religious body which is the source of their power. Bin Laden and his lieutenants personally are simply demagogic power mongers of the fascistic order (nothing new) . But the foot soldiers (such as our recent twin tower bombers) are truly zealous believers. What will happen to their Islamic fervor when they themselves become objects of a true Islamic fatwa and Jihad, and realize that a billion Muslims in a million mosques world-wide have sworn to seek them out and kill them on sight – unless perhaps they repent, go out, and sin no more. (Maybe the clerics of the Muslim summit will anneal their fatwa with an element of Christian temperance.)
As for our increasingly present danger of domestic terrorism, what could be more effective than Reverse Jihad to spiritually disarm the zealous enemies in our midst? The principal strategies we are presently deploying are defensive, and as Senator Bob Graham most recently admonished – America must transform its paradigm from defensive to pro-active in regard to domestic terrorism..*
* Sen. Bob Graham (Chairman , Select Intelligence Committee), in Oct 25, 01 address to U.S. Press Club, “Future of Intelligence”
What we do abroad in the mountains and caves of Afghanistan will scarcely defend our populace from biological and other terrorist attacks within our borders. What , besides the proposed universal Reverse Jihad, could we do to defuse more effectively these mad Muslim matches still secretly secluded like suicidally-incendiary needles in the hapless haystacks of America?
But, as for those terrorists who continue their war to win Armageddon, some form of active war would need be waged. And while it’s being waged, deploying our troops and implements of war as “advisors” and lend-lease “back-up forces”, we can retain some of our remaining troops to defend our own country against further terrorist attacks over here. The Western Coalition can also pledge to assist the already war-ravaged countries with financial and other aid when reconstruction time comes, unlike the Americans in their exodus from Afghanistan that afforded a rallying post for the Taliban and refuge for Bin Laden.
From the moment the Islamic Coalition’s Fatwa against Bin Laden is published, he is not just a man without a country – he’s a Muslim without a mosque. The youthful and ignorant terrorists under his command will have their first occasion ever to question whether in fact their martyrdom will be rewarded in the next life with dark unclad virgins on red velvet sofas. So much , one could venture, for flight school enrollment in Bagdad.
The Arab nations will have absolutely no excuse for rejecting the Western call for Jihad against Bin Laden and all Islamic terrorists. The moment they declare it, they will have cleansed and clarified their own positions in the world and in the eyes of Islam, which up until this point has been, according to Bin Laden - “You are either with Islam, or with the Western Infidels”. The strongest weapon Bin Laden has is mythology – the same weapon that buttressed Hitler’s Third Reich – the “Big Lie”- in the case of Hitler, his so-called “Herrenvolk” . Bin Laden’s Big Lie is that his terrorist mission is Islamic jihad- that is, a matter of Islam versus the infidels. Only Islam itself can give the lie to and abort this incubating Muslim mythology, and the way Islam can accomplish this is by doing the opposite – by declaring Jihad against the ones falsely declaring Jihad against others – by the process of Reverse Jihad.
The declaration of a fatwa and Reverse Jihad against Bin Laden and other self-proclaimed Muslim terrorists would instantly and cataclysmically polarize and re-define the “we’s “ and “they’s” of Islamic politics. In tendering this proposal to the countries of the Middle East, all we need to do is get them assembled and spell it out. It will be an offer they can’t refuse.
Practical Matters and Obstacles
Iran, Iraq (and yes -even Arafat’s PLO) should be asked to join the Coalition’s collective Jihad – or else go on record explaining their refusal. At present a probable majority of Arab leaders are taking delight (to varying degrees) in the misfortunes recently befalling America. This attitude was evident in the grotesque celebrations (perhaps falsely reported but certainly occurring) on the streets of Palestine on 9/11, and more recent pro-Bin Laden demonstrations in Pakistan. Of course these expressions of anti-Western sentiment speak as much about petro/Israeli/Palestine politics as they do about terrorism, but regardless of the animus’ etiology , its expression and contagion would be suppressed (or extinguished) at the core upon the promulgation of a United and Universal Arab fatwa and Jihad against all Islamic terrorists.
Moreover, any Arab state unwilling to urge its clerics to launch the Fatwa and Jihad would run the risk of being ipso facto identified with the terrorists. It would be safe to predict that , when Saudi Arabia votes affirmatively (which is likely) on the united Jihad , there would be an increased likelihood that Kuwait and the balance of OPEC countries will follow in domino fashion, given the force of the first concession and the
abiding concern over Bush’s seminal caveat: (that) “Those who do not side with us against the terrorists”…
Middle Eastern experts and Islamic scholars will of course be quick and united in pointing out fallacies they think are readily apparent in Reverse Jihad, but under scrutiny, such fallacies will prove more apparent than actual. Experts in Middle Eastern politics will argue that no terrorist policy could be uniformly imposed among the several Arab states because of myriad variances in each Kingdom or Emirate of power distributions between the clerical and secular leaderships. Islamic scholars will contend that in most Islamic States, Iran perhaps most in particular, secular leadership is primarily nominal, the real power over Islamic masses residing in the Clerical powers that be. Accordingly, Islamic pundits will contend that the age-old and perennially-bellicose diversity among the many clans and tribes within Islam , each with their own version of Islam, will render a united declaration of Jihad an extreme unlikelihood .
To these caveats there must be ready concessions. Of course any clash between the clerical and secular leaders of an Islamic state will be destabilizing , as will any collaborative probing or policing of internal terrorism. But is anyone still seriously contending that a culmination of Desert Storm by an invasion of Bagdad would have created a dangerous void of leadership in Iraq? It is obvious that President Bush is resolved to carry through with the declared war on terrorism to any extent necessary to seek out and eliminate both terrorists and any Islamic regime aiding and abetting them. Afghanistan is the closest case in point.
In the process of seeking out and eliminating terrorists residing in Afghanistan, where there was no assistance offered by that country’s secular or Islamic leaderships , a chaotic destabilization was the natural result. The Western emissaries in their process of “selling” Reverse Jihad to Arab heads of (secular) state can point out that the chaos presently pervading Afghanistan could have been averted by the Reverse Jihad remedy. Had there in fact been any separation, either by identity or authority among secular and clerical powers in Afghanistan, then bin Laden’s Al Qaeda might have been made subject to arrest and prosecution by Afghan authorities , with the help of Western Jihad Deputies, acting in the same capacity they have in support of the Islamic faction known as The Northern Alliance.
When an Islamic state is de-stabilized , the resulting chaos reveals how tenuously ruling power is maintained by the typical secular governing entity. For example, even when the kings were strongest, contends one Islamic commentator, “Afghan loyalties were never with a country called ‘Afghanistan’ but with their own ethnic group, their own version of Islam, and the traditional leaders of their own local clans and tribes, in that order.” * It is suggested that other Islamic states differ from Afghanistan only in the rankings of those elements within their own chaotic ruling polyarchies.
In the faces of all forecasters of chaos, however, propounders of Reverse Jihad need utter only one arguably unimpeachable arabian aphorism – “Never underestimate the power of petroleum hegemony.” It’s not merely the military might of the Western world that will ultimately unite Arabian kings and clerics, it’s the oil dollars that perpetually sustain them both. In the final contesting of the Sheiks and their clerical co-rulers of Islam, modern-day Pharisees will subject them to inquisitions demanding to be told which of them should be looked upon as supreme, to which both will respond- -“render unto Allah the things that are Allah’s, and to the King the things that are his.” In the cases of both Kings and clerics the rendering referred to will be the same–Islamic kings and clerics will ultimately find their survival in common–absolutely and irretrievably linked to the renderings of the Western Oil Market and U.S. Dollars. Terrorism is now standing in the way of that dollar and oil flow. Reverse Jihad will provide the means of getting terrorism out of the way ; it will provide the means for survival.
*Michael Radu, “Taliban Defeat Sets Up Struggle for Power”, Global Beat Syndicate 11/23/01
In the process of negotiating for the acceptance of Reverse Jihad, there will be inevitable clashes between the kings and clerics in each Arab state. The kings have allied themselves with the terrorists through covert support and laissez-faire internal policies in order to pacify their economically suppressed and malcontent Islamic masses. The clerics have allowed themselves to become allied with the terrorists based upon the enmity they share in common regarding the Israeli-Allied Western Infidels in their Middle-Eastern Midsts. The natural enmity between the Arabian Kings and Clerics is of course stabilized and perpetuated primarily by the presence of America and its ubiquitous availability as scapegoat and common-enemy. A definitive clashing between the Kings and Clerics of Islam is both long overdue, and , quite apart from either the advent or imposition of Reverse Jihad , inevitable. In that clashing, some destabilization will occur; some Kings may be dethroned. So what? How many Islamic rulers today are truly friends of the West? No Soviet (or Sino-) Buzzard is presently circling in a position to swoop down and snatch any MidEast minion from the oily talons of the western Eagle.
One thing remains axiomatic – without the intervention and interdiction of Islam, pseudo-Islamic terroisim of the bin Laden , Al Qaeda order , will continue to flourish and be mythologized and marshalled from mosque to mosque, crusaded and carted from cave to B52-bombarded cave.
If the secular leadership approached by the Western Coalition fails to enlist their resident Clerics in a Reverse Jihad effort to combat terrorism, then clerics and kings alike will have to face the possibility that the war on terrorism in their states will run the course it has in Afghanistan, where all resident rulers, secular and clerical are cast into the flux and chaos of a major campaign of invasive war, waged by the infidel West. When the clerics and kings come to view this as inevitable, there is a distinct likelihood that their common enmity of the West will convert to a common alliance against the terrorists, that being the obvious least among an array of optional evils. Once this choice is made, the U.S. and its allies can proceed to play Machiavellian mentors and allied enablers in the process of imposing Reverse Jihad.
The strategy proposed is simple, obvious and compelling: Advance emissaries of the Western Coalition would show the kings and sheiks how it is absolutely essential (in order to survive) that they persuade their clerics to endorse Reverse Jihad (in order to survive) and in so doing to persuade the latters’ Islamic followers to help (in order to survive) execute Reverse Jihad or else face the fate of the Taliban fundamentalists in Afghanistan. If the point is made clear , i.e. that their assent to and participation in the Reverse Jihad are essential to their collective survival, the sheiks and clerics and their faithful followers will come to perceive the pseudo-Islamic terrorist as their common enemy – at least the fly in their common (and vital) petroleum-based ointment.
Skeptics will say that nothing practical might come from such a summit – even if we get the Arabs to issue the fatwa and declare the Jihad. It’s true - A Jihad declared is not a Jihad waged, and the Arabs might just wind up doing another Bagdad two-step around the consequences of their covenants.
Arabs are known for their diplomatic obtuseness and stealth, but on that petard , any state pledging Jihad disingenuously may well find itself hoisted, as the declaration of Jihad in itself may prove to be all America and its allies need to fortify and achieve existing arsenals and aims.
In a worst-case scenario, the Arabs would declare but fail absolutely to wage any active Jihad against the terrorists within their borders. In that case, pursuant to proviso’s bargained-for in the summit pact, Americans and allied forces would resume their multi-lateral war against the terrorists, but this time , hopefully from the inside - with the deputized authority and prior endorsement of declared Islamic allies.
Can we really expect Arabs to enter the caves and either convert or kill Bin Laden? Maybe not, but again, we shouldn’t underestimate the effect of a Jihad declaration in Islam – a religious culture whose patriarchs and peons kneel hip to hip in ubiquitous mosques , where they chant, pray and process the edicts of Islam not once upon a weekend, but five times a day, 365 days a year. In every “coalition” Arab country, an officially-published and regularly-preached Fatwa against their resident Islamic terrorists will instantly make a fifth-column C.I.A. field office out of every mosque in the country. All our military leaders agree that the most crippling deficiency in our readiness to wage war against the terrorists is human intelligence- i.e. “insider intel” on the activities and whereabouts of the individual cells in bin Laden’s notorious “base”, and the elusive net of unnumbered and unknown terrorists acting in concert, to varying degrees, in other countries.
The power and long-range effect of an Islamic Cleric’s edict ordering a billion Muslims in a million mosques throughout the Muslim world to do their duty as Muslims and report the doings and whereabouts of all terrorists, including Bin Laden is incalculable . With this information, the U.S. , leading NATO and U.N.-backed multinational forces, all acting as “deputy Jihad warriors” will be able – and licensed – to do all that is necessary to execute the “ultimate solutions” to the terrorist problem. If 5th-Column Iranian, Pakistani or Afghan informers have no stomach for entering the caves themselves, the training camps and hideouts of the terrorists will nonetheless be identified and targeted for missile-wielding Western Deputies, and the Muslim masks of the terrorists will have been removed by clerical edict in the name and for the cause of Allah – rather than for the mercenary interests of Infidel Western invaders. Onward Muslim Soldiers.
Few Options
There’s no way the U.S. , as outsiders can come in and cure the terrorist problem with carriers and smart bombs. And we don’t have enough ground troops – or enough time – to clean the terrorists out of their mountain and desert caves and tents one at a time, in ten countries simultaneously. Again, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. All we can do with the presently-proposed (Bush/Powell) mode of attack is to pursue terrorists permanently and at such a pace that we can hope they won’t find time to christen our replacement twin towers with eau d’Anthrax , or visit Disneyworld at Christmas with a suitcase of PLUTOnium.
No , the way to win the war against terrorism, is to first view it for what it is - an insane religious aberration within the institutional walls and nations of Islam. It poses a manifold-greater threat to the Middle East than it does any outside nation on earth. Witness what they’ve already done in Afghanistan. To Islamic terrorism America has lost its thousands - Islam its tens of thousands.
America can’t simply send the Marines over and clean this one up. This trash is in the back yards of Islam , and Islam will have to help clean up its own back yards or pay the ultimate price. We should, and under the proposed plan, will help. We will furnish the brooms and the dust pans and even give lessons on their deployment and wielding. But the Arabs have got to locate and help carry out their own trash this time or else say goodbye to everything they’ve built in the past hundred years. They’ve all been over there chanting that Bin Laden and all Muslim terrorists are criminal and in effect heretics within Islam. They’ve all , save Saudi Arabia cautioned that they will neither ask for nor condone the basing of essentially unilateral American forces in their midst for the purpose of locating and eradicating the Muslim terrorists. They have as much as said that Muslim terrorism is a matter for internal Muslim resolution. Why not – actively – take the Muslim world at its word?
Finally: As for the Solution of “Immediate” Problem . . .
How do we get this message to Bush and Powell?
B.E.A. /rrs 11/25/01
ADDENDUM
(In View of Complexity and Developments)
There was an adjective phrase used by a writer pen-named “Trevanian” in a book titled “Shibumi” . The writer was stretching for a way to express the complexity that arose from some spy/assassin’s covert behavior which challenged his comprehension to the extent he coined it a “(matter of) involute obliquity”. When we consider America’s situation and predicament–having six to eight million Muslims inside its boundaries, all bundled up in our Bill of Rights; all the extremist Muslims within our borders trying to lead the other several millions to either convert or kill us; our stubborn dependency on Middle Eastern oil; our alliance with Israel; the covert alliances of the sheiks and clerics of Islam with the terrorists; the vying for control on part of these same clerics, sheiks, kings and criminals; the perils inherent in attacking (martyrizing) the Jihad terrorists, and not attacking them (and being ourselves slaughtered), we’ve certainly centered on a problem of involute obliquity.
The present essay on Reverse Jihad does not attempt to treat , or even outline, all the problems which would become integral to any plan to execute Reverse Jihad. Of course there are Middle Eastern Countries which might not be willing to participate. Their willingness to participate would of course be directly determined by and proportioned to the diplomatic prowess we manage to muster in the process of their induction.
There are probably countries whose Islamic leaders may refuse to become involved in the machinations of a combined Islamic/secular coalition. There are some nations in the free world which might refuse to participate for reasons which at this point are unforseeable.
Three things, notwithstanding, should be kept in mind when reading and evaluating this essay . First , Reverse Jihad is a policy proposal which is propounded as a dynamic and evolving work in progress . Second , as an evolving and circumstantially adaptable policy, Reverse Jihad doesn’t have to supplant any on-going foreign or domestic offensive or defensive policy at any time – unless or until , according to the progression of events, it (Reverse Jihad) becomes an effective policy in practice. Third, unlike attempting military solutions of any kind, attempting Reverse Jihad should cause no harm. If it fails totally to achieve the elimination of Islamic terrorism globally, it would be a failure in diplomacy alone and still serve to varying degrees (of success ) militarily to identify our enemies and unify our allies, (secular, clerical, national , individual and corporate) , and that problem (identification) is at the heart of international terrorism. Reverse Jihad could in fact turn the war of Islamic Terrorism in upon itself – into the involutely oblique heart and land of Islam.
B.E.A. / rrs 11/25/01
Reverse Jihad—2004 Addendum:
QUESTION: You’ve just replaced George W. Bush as president. (Don’t ask how.) What do you do about Iraq, and why? Don’t look back; look forward. Be specific….
ANSWER: I would declare and host an international summit to “Reverse Jihad”.
To the summit I would invite the head clerics and secular leaders of every Islamic country on the planet. When the meeting was called to order I would get down upon my knees before the entire assembly and say: “In the name of Allah, God, Jehova, Elohim, Jesus and Mohammed and the unmentioned gods and prophets of all here assembled, I apologize on behalf of myself and my country and its allies for having wrongfully and mistakenly invaded Iraq. I beg your forgiveness for our errors and for the lives lost and suffering incurred by this ill-conceived campaign of war, and I enlist your assistance in helping me make amends, and helping restore peace and prosperity to the people of Iraq. To accomplish this, I propose as follows.”
A sketch of the plan I would propose and implement would include:
(1) I would let all of Islam know that if their clerical leaders will immediately begin to pronounce and preach in the mosques a jihad against all (false and by Islamic law illegal) anti-western anti-coalition jihads and prevail in an effort to mandate a cessation of all terrorist activities directed against Americans, Isreal and their allies (including the Sheiks of Saudi Arabia), that I would instruct Sharon that America’s alliance with the State of Israel would end unless there was an immediate and permanent withdrawl on Israel’s part of the occupied territories of Gaza and the West Bank and the establishment of a truly-multilateral commission for the establishment of an Independent Palestine devoid entirely of the influence of either Sharon or Arafat.
I would do all possible to expedite the establishment of an independent Palestinian state as a proactive show of American good faith, regardless of the instant success of the Reverse Jihad effort. The independence of Palestine—and the complicity of the U.S. in delaying it, are, respectively long overdue and obvious.
I would propose the adoption of a definition of “terrorism” and an enactment of an international law proscribing it and warranting international sanctions against it (and any nation’s aiding and abetting it), and I would (by fiat, because a consensus among the invitees would be impossible) define it as “any unprovoked attack resulting in murder, mahem, or abduction upon any non-millitary personnel except where the non-military personnel are clearly and voluntarily participating in military, paramilitary or otherwise criminal conduct directly against either the attacker or non-militant civilians under the protection of the attacker”.
I would require that all Islamic clerical authorities arrange it so that
U.N. or agents of other internationally independent observers are allowed to attend services in all Islamic mosques and madrasses to determine whether the correct “jihad” sermons and cirriculum are being preached and taught , and to see to it that the mosques and maddrasses are no longer preaching and instructing anti-western Jihad messages or honoring anti-Western suicide jihaddists as Islamic martyrs.
I would demand Dick Cheney’s resignation for his conflict of interest (and/or treasonous misprison of office) in being VP and a paid profiteer (by way of “extended salary” and stock options ) of Halliburton; Next I would nationalize Halliburton and all its subsidiaries, declare by executive order a stock split vesting one-half the ownership of Halliburton in an Iraqi holding company which would issue a share of preferred stock (with compulsory distribution of one-half the annual corporate profits) to each Iraqi when and as they register to vote in the election to popularly elect a new democratic regime in Iraq. All the oil fields, refineries, pipelines and reserves—the entire oil infrastructure—would be managed and held in trust by Haliburton, audited by a team of Swiss bankers, over-seen by U.N. CPA’s, with one-half the net profits being allocated to defray the costs of re-construction of Iraqi civil and governmental infrastructure, and one-half being paid to Iraqi voters to render Iraq the first Arab state in which the Islamic citizenry at large is allowed to benefit directly from the country’s only valuable natural resource.
I would muster the Republican Guard back into active duty as “Reverse Jihad Deputies” and station them in a single, strategically-located town of predominantly Sunni population; the town should not be near any oil or pipeline infrastructure. The Guard should be mustered at double their previous pay,and assigned primarily to
anti-insurgency (and anti-terrorist) duty, because that is what they
have been trained to do for the past 20 years. They should be hired only on the condition they muster back into service carrying their previous arms, including culvert explosives and rocket launchers. No weapon(s), no job. No job, no salary. Bonuses for coming to work with explosives of massive destruction, rocket launchers and anti-aircraft munitions.
The weapons we would thereby enlist into the Reverse Jihad militia would be the same weapons currently blowing our un-armored Hummers to bits.
I would insist that the oil trust continue for a period of up to ten years, during which time I would publicly announce the Federal funding and implementing of a Detroit/Manhattan project, where the American auto and HVAC industries were incentived (through tax benefits to manufacturers and consumers) to design, develop and purchase energy-efficient vehicles and residential and commercial heating and air conditioning technologies to totally terminate U.S. reliance on Middle Easter Oil by the end of the ten-year period of Reverse Jihad Détente. It could be accomplished in half that time with already-extant technologies.
The attack of 9/11 on the Twin Towers of New York was not about Saddam Hussein or the Baath Party’s oppression of Iraq’s Shiite majority. The attack of 9/11 had to do with America’s alliance with Israel in its Zionist war with the Arabian Pennisula and American’s alliance with the Shieks of Saudi Arabia and other OPEC states. The attack on Iraq had nothing to do with the attack of 9/11, and served only to fulfill the prophesies of bin Laden and the other fundamentalist Islamics who look about themselves in the land others refer to as the latters’ “promised land” and see only the automobiles, condos, harems and castles of rich sheiks and their western partners who together mine and market their sacred holy land’s only supply of virtual milk and honey…Arabian crude. To the average Saudi, Israel is an American military ally, and the House of Saud, an American puppet regime. They believe this is so because it’s so. Until the wealth of the Middle East is shared with its largely destitude and desperate Islamic inhabitants, those who are allowed inside to reap that wealth will be viewed as “infidel” and pariah from the windows of the ubiquitous mosques.
No nation will ever successfully colonize an Islamic state. Not even Israel herself. We need to retreat from the Middle East as if our very lives depended on on, because they do. The only way to retreat from the Middle East and survive is for America to liberate itself from its dependance on Arabian oil. This task is emminently dooable. But it will take imagination, leadership, courage and initiative we can presently only dream of, because at the helm of our present ship of state, there is a cretinous oil pirate cum neo-Con Christian zealot who truly thinks he’s waging—and winning (!) an illusory war with terrorism against some imagined axis of Revealationesque evil. In fact, before Bush, terrorism posed only an ever-present danger of isolated and uncoordinated disaster. After Bush’s declaration of war, and the preemptive conquest and colonization of two Islamic nations in the illusory “war” on terrorism, he has activated/consummated the perenially-inchoate conflict between the West and Islam and managed to merge the interests of previously-isolated malcontents into the heart, soul and spleen of Islam. Bush’s brash and unilateral war policies have served to ordain the wildest of pan-arabian terrorist prophesies and characteriazations of America as “infidel” and “warring crusader”.
I would turn the Summit ultimately into a Constitutional Congress and permit the secular authorities and clerics of each sect to appoint delegates in numbers proportioned to the best available census calculations of Sunni/Shiite/etc. populations in Iraq. After the adoption of a Constitution, the mechanics of an election process would be determined.
As “power pointed” dipolmacy, any resistence to any proposals I’d (as president) make as hereinabove outlined would be met with the pat PAX-American PNAC pronouncement that is today’s state of affairs… “Well, all I can say to you Shieks, and you Clerics, and all your dissatisfied constituencies, whether civil or terroristic is…Unless you reverse this Jihad against America, Israel and your Saudi citizenry and the oil pipelines we cherish and depend upon in common, we highly-militarized Coaliationists are here to stay….It’s your call.”
Respectfully submitted by Robert R. (Dusty) Schoch, B.E.A. June 19, 2004.
The B.E.A. (“Barristers et al”) is a N.C.-based foreign policy think tank. We are a voluntary and charitably-constituted and oriented assembly of a-political attorneys, physicians, teachers, writers, military personnel and lay members who collaborate to develop and disseminate (for the most part on the internet) peace-oriented foreign policy alternatives. I serve as the group’s “scribe” and work as liaison where the B.E.A. elects to communicate with other think tanks and policy institutes.
October 31, 2001 Dear you all,
Please pardon the form letter but it’s for a good reason. I’ve gotten more and more uncomfortable about the 9/11 thing and the direction we’re headed, and probably like you, am feeling fairly powerless. But, despite the fact we (you and I) have little to say and do to affect the way things are going in and outside the U.S. now, we’re not powerless to help each other sift through the media morass and political posturing to maintain a sense of sane circumspection, involvement and , to varying degrees, control.
Recently it occurred to me I have a lot of very smart and resourceful friends with access to the net, and it dawned on me that if we pooled our individual networks into an expanded network and unofficial clearing house/think tank, we could help keep each other much more in touch with important facts and ideas as they develop.
Soon after the 9/11 thing happened , several of you (thanks) started sending me great resource material on bin Laden (how the C.I.A. helped create him ,etc.) and this material came to me long before it got to the media. I ‘ve personally gotten fairly immersed , and even fascinated in a fear-driven sort of way, in Islamic terrorism and the challenge it presents to the U.S. military (and us). Have you noticed yet what a great “geography lesson” war turns out to be?
It’s very unsettling to think as I presently do that we may be headed in exactly the wrong direction if we are planing to attack the problem of Islamic terrorism primarily with aircraft carriers, smart bombs and the rest. Russians already tried that in the same place we’re headed and the same elements and weaponry that routed them are still in place; we put them there and we trained the lot we’re now resolved to destroy. We can easily eliminate their conventional war assets , but we’re being challenged (i.e , killed) by their non-conventional ones.
I’m going to attach to this letter, for flavor and incentive, a short allegory (titled “Matches and Haystacks”) concerning the attack on the twin towers and Islamic terrorism in general. It doesn’t teach or solve anything, but through it I can bring into focus and share with you some of what we are all currently feeling as we’re being told we may have anthrax and otherunthinkable dangers in our midst for the first time since 1942.
If you’ve gotten this letter it’s because I know you’re well-informed , intelligent and likely keeping in touch these days with others of your ilk , all of which makes you desirable candidates for enlistment in the group I’m helping to form. This group would like to be better connected to your informational network and your thinking while this terror thing is pending . So, what I ask is that , after you’ve read this letter and the little “Persian Parable” attached, you correspond with me by e-mail on the following:
Would you be interested in being a member of a locally-based “think tank”, the purpose of which would be simply to provide for each other a sharing network (mostly through e-mail) and clearing-house for information and collective creative/ameliorative thinking (including hopefully reliable, collectively-gathered information on threats of and defenses to bioterrorism as it evolves)? I can already tell you I’m in communication with some “heavies” in the U.S. and elsewhere, have chased down stories released by the foreign press, and have corresponded with Jessica Stern (author of the book on Islamic terrorism, “The Ultimate Terrorists”). She and many other of the real eggheads on the subject are swearing (very quietly) that Bush and Powell may be executing an ineffective , and possibly even counter-productive plan of attack at present. While the jury is still out, would you like to network with us (I’m volunteering to be your clearing-house) under the unofficial banner of “B.E.A.” ? A core group has already enlisted and agreed to adopt that moniker , and is constituted and defined as follows: “An a-political Society of trial lawyers and their lay and professional colleagues and friends who collectively embody a pro-bono think tank to provide for each other a clearing house for information and ideas intended to help the members contend with and think positively, constructively and perhaps eventually even remedially about Islamic-based terrorism in the U.S. and elsewhere.” (“B.E.A.”, of course , is “Barristers et. al”.)
The group will have no corporate charter, no board , no CEO or committee chairs. If we ever assemble outside cyber-space, our meeting table will be round. I have volunteered for the job of scribe, and as such will receive, collate and send information ad-hoc from those who join and contribute. I don’t intend to flood or be flooded with massive e-mail because both I and member contributors will conservatively screen out unreliable, redundant or otherwise superfluous material. All your contributions will be strictly voluntary , so you can send and/or receive information at the whim and motion of your mind and mouse.
The core group will include, inter alia, some creative fellow lawyers in the Triad and D.C., a few doctors, University professors (so far, including Harvard, Wake Forrest, U.N.C. , V.C.U. and Notre Dame) (and students), scientists (in private sector), community leaders, along with scholars learned in matters of Islamic/Middle Eastern culture and politics. When our group is full and in swing, we’ll ask Senators John Edwards and Dick Lugar (R. Ind.) to join our ranks as political adjuncts already immersed , respectively, in terrorist-related domestic and foreign policy positions. In turn , it is hoped that these core members will each bring into our clearing house base, information gleaned (and screened) from their individual nets, so that we develop a net which has the capacity to expand exponentially in function and at the same time remain static in its core size. To keep things manageable , I’m putting an arbitrary limit of 24 on our core membership, and will consider your early suggestions for individuals you think would be a willing asset to the core base. Keep in mind , when you enlist, you’ll be able to share B.E.A. communications and data with anyone in your e-mail bank, B.E.A. member or not (you could constitute them a “group” in your e-address books. ) There will be B.E.A.’s , then and “A-BEAS” , viz., a “friend” (amicus) of the BEA’s.
Anyone who gives me a “yes” will immediately begin getting (via e-mail) access options to anything I receive that’s novel among stuff that comes to me over the net either from you or through the web and other media. You’re never obligated to read or respond. You’ll simply be invited to express to and through me your select creative thinking about how you personally endorse or second-guess decisions being made by world leaders in the new war on terrorism (and/or the terrorists’ war on us). Your thoughts “outside the box” especially are sought.
At the least, membership in “the B.E.A.’s” (to be pronounced, appropriately, just like the “Bees” in “busy bees”) will keep you better informed with avante-guard aspects and angles of our war with the terrorists; and at best, we might collectively come up with some ideas that might somehow help out in the situation out …there. You can come in now with a “yes” reply and bail out anytime down the road for any reason. If you sign in, however, include in one short sentence the “bio” note we’ll be authorized to place beside your name in our (not-to-be-published, except intramurally ) membership roster..
I’ll serve , as I said , as clearing-house clerk, or group “Scribe” so that when you send me stuff, you will have screened it and you’ll have sent it to me with a preface giving a brief synopsis on content. I’ll make sure to evaluate whether the piece you send me is redundant in re: stuff previously sent. I’ll send (i.e. disseminate to other core members) , then, select of your “outside source” contributions, and all of your independent thinking and creations, uncensored and unedited.
Please join the B.E.A.’s and get back to me on it ASAP. E Pluribus Unum really is the truth, especially when you’re under attack, and as I ‘m presently feeling – a little jittery.
Best Regards, (Robert R. Schoch)
“Matches and Haystacks” ( An Arabian Allegory ) Let’s consider two combatants contemplating war against one another and make a wager on which will be victorious before their war begins (“victorious” meaning : “to get the outcome the combatant wants in the war”.)
On one side are the “haystacks.” They are the common-variety haystacks, made of golden harvested grass, pitched high in a pile , shining in the sun. These haystacks want to endure , intact, until their destinies are fulfilled by deployment into the service of their makers. On the other side are the “matches” – all of them the self-igniting stick variety, having the general size , shape and aspect of large needles without eyes.
The ultimate purpose of all the matches is to set fire to all the haystacks. The easiest way to accomplish this is for the matches to imbed themselves deep inside the haystacks , where, because of their small size and the haystacks’ greater mass , it is easy for them to remain hidden until the call for ignition. When the call to ignite is given by the leaders of the matches, all the matches in all the haystacks will strike themselves and go up in flames along with their individual haystack hosts. Being thusly consumed , however, is no defeat or problem for the matches, who are all trained by masterful match mentors to believe that when they are immolated in a haystack fire they themselves start, they will be instantly transported – intact and unscathed into an after life where they’ll be safe and happy forever – that being , cushioned amidst the churlish labia and securely-clenched teeth of an aspiring cinema cowboy , sitting on a subservient bale of hay in the non-smoking section of a sushi bar in lower L.A. watching CNN and waiting for a Hollywood talent agent to phone.
Now for the wager: When all the matches in the world are safely and securely ensconced in all the haystacks in the world, and the haystacks declare war on the matches and threaten to seek them out and set them on fire, tell me , where are you going to place your bets?
B arristers et al … |
||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Using his mystical powers of concentration, Lance once more became The Shade. It was no trouble at all to whisk his way past the bald-headed goon stationed at the Times-Two Building. He then faded against the wall as two black-shirted Times-Two employees marched past him.
Sure looks a lot like Mussolini’s Department of Education building before and during WWII, he thought, remembering that he had met the National Director of Education in Firenze when he had been a student and long before he had become The Shade. That man had then been a shoemaker, spared the fate of most of the Fascist gang, but never allowed to take part in politics again. He remembered speaking to the man, a cultured and educated person, who thought that all he was doing was putting John Dewey’s pragmatic theories into practice. He shook his head as he muttered, “Complete misunderstanding of Dewey.”
As The Shade entered the elevator he remembered what this former Fascist official had said to him, which was that all Mussolini wanted to do was to have the government and big business together rule the country. As Lance punched the button to the floor of the editorial offices, he thought that he was, as Yogi Berra famously said, experiencing dejà vu all over again. The modern Repugnican Party was a mirror image of Italian fascism, at least in theory. And Dullard Rumnose, with the aid of the Irish Mafioso Pauley O’Roarke, was primed to put this theory into practice in the United States.
Who would have thought that the Party of Lincoln could have devolved into the Party of Fascism in a scant thirty years. But devolve it did, starting with Roland Fagan, that turncoat Dem with the phony Bollywood smile, the guy who started breaking down the unions, starting with Air Traffic Controllers—making us all less safe to fly—and ending with Barnaby A. Liar, who took the country into two senseless wars, all for the profit of the oil companies and the enrichment of Ricardo Chancey, that snarling, robotic presence who still haunted the D.C. scene.
Arriving at the 14th floor, Lance slipped quietly into the inner sanctum of the most secret plotting room of the Nuevo Times-Two editorial offices. Two reporters sat facing one another at their computers, their pale faces illuminated by the computer screens. Over near a corner of the large room, his face buried in the latest issue of Mad Magazine was the Editor-in-Chief of the Times-Two newspaper, Roberto Tomassho. And behind the bullet-proof glass in the totally encased corner office sat the king of decadent journalism, the “dirty digger” himself, Rhubarb Morelock. Morelock was cutting out paper dolls with a pair of manicuring scissors, while whistling softly to himself.
As The Shade glided to the windowless wall of the office, standing in the shadow cast by a giant one the reporters lifted his gaze from the computer screen, cracked his knuckles loudly, and said to no one in particular, “What that piece by Leggy Goonan, huh?” The reporter, who styled himself as a former Gonzo journalist, had even adopted the soubriquet, “Gonzo,” even though he wasn’t quite sure what that meant. He was referring to a guest column written by the former Press Secretary for Barnaby Liar, she of the callipygian proportions, who had deigned to write a simplistic piece of propagandist drivel for the Times-Two
Editorial page.
The other reporter, a smallish, balding man with a two-day growth of beard, thick eye-glasses and a skin problem, pursed his lips, unsure of what to say. Then he said, “Well if she went to a journalism school, it wasn’t at the University of Missouri.” The reporter, one Percy Peck, was probably the best stylist on the Times-Two staff, but he was never given a prime column all to himself. Instead he had to patch up the prose of others, including that of the reporter who sat opposite him.
The Editor-in-Chief raised his head from the magazine he was reading and addressed the reporter called Gonzo. “Hey, Gonzo,” he said, picking bits of salad from his teeth with a long fingernail, “What’s the latest about Johnny Useless and the vote fraud campaign.” The person about whom Tomassho was speaking was the Attorney General of Yohio, who had decided to circumvent the State law by making people show ID when they went to vote, targeting only the young, the poor, and the black, whereas those wearing diamonds and pearls were welcomed with a bow and a flourish.
Gonzo grimaced. “I heard that what worked in 2010 ain’t going to fly as high this year,” he said.
“Why in the deuce not!” exclaimed Tomassho so loudly that Rhubarb Morelock jumped involuntarily and cut his finger on the manicuring scissors he was holding.
“What in blazes is going on out there!?” roared Morelock, as he put his bleeding pinky finger in his mouth, so it sounded like, “Wha ‘n brayzis gung ahn, ou dere!?”
Gonzo winced. He knew from experience that King Morelock didn’t like to be disturbed when he was meditating, even more so when he was suffering pain.
He also knew that Tomassho was going to throw him under the bus.
“It’s Gonzo, Chief,” said Tomassho on cue. “He’s decided at the last minute to spill some bad news.”
Gonzo thought quickly. “It’s Percy, Boss. He didn’t let me have all the facts in time for me to put them together for you.”
Percy Peck sighed. It’s the old chain of command, he thought. The chain gets pulled and what’s in the container gets dumped on the low man on the totem pole. By this time, Morelock had left his glass cubicle, still sucking on his finger, and Tomassho had risen from his chair, hands on his hips and staring at Percy Peck. Gonzo was back to staring at his computer screen.
The Shade, hidden from view, could hardly refrain from letting out a huge guffaw. What a bunch of eight balls, he thought. Typical business-style way of doing business. Oh, well, what can you expect from anyone who works in the editorial offices of the Nuevo Times-Two.
Percy Peck cleared his throat and stood up, a bit unsteadily, from his seat. He knew what was expected of him. He would give them the bad news and for that he would be forced to work overtime while his bosses enjoyed another round of golf at the Westchester Country Club. “Here’s the thing,” he said in a choked voice.
“Speak up, man,” said Morelock, after taking a handkerchief from his pocket and wrapping his finger in it.
“Yes,” said Tomassho, “Speak up, man.”
Peck then quickly recounted the events that led up to plans of subverting the Yohio vote. Fearless Bob Fosdick had just filed a lawsuit in Federal Court to remove secret software on the SS&S electronic voting machines that wirelessly transmitted results of ballots cast—and 80% of Yohio machines contained this software. If Federal judges accepted the suit, then there would finally be a safety check on any chicanery involved with changing the vote totals, something that was strongly suspected in 2010.
Having heard this explanation, Rhubarb Morlock virtually turned the air blue with curses heard before only in the land of Oz, and those only in the seediest part of Sydney. When he finally settled down to a quivering mound of wrinkled meat, Morlock inhaled deeply and expelled the air slowly from his lungs, the way they teach you in exercise class. “That’s it for Faux News,” he whispered, slowly returning to his glass cubicle. “Fannity and von Sustenance predicted that Yohio would be solidly Repugnican, but now there’s no chance, no chance.”
Well, that’s it, said The Shade to himself. A Federal judge has blocked a giant voting fraud scheme. Everyone knew that the SS & S Machine Company was poised to “lose” hundreds of thousands of votes in “the cloud,” where they could be lost or chosen at will. No need to find out anything more, he mused, as he made his way to the door and out of the office, the Repugnican attempt to win Yohio has turned to ashes, and as Yohio goes, so goes the nation.
Lance took a taxi back to the Carlyle, where Lara was waiting up for him. “Well, Mr. Super Sleuth, did you find out anything that you couldn’t have learned by watching MSNBC?”
Lance smiled as he sat next to her on the setee. “You might say that I saw a most unusual display by the owner of the Times-Two and Faux News.”
“Tell me more,” said Lara, tucking her knees beneath her as she turned towards Lance, clasping her hands in her lap.
“Not much to tell, I’m afraid,” said Lance insouciantly. “The most interesting parts are not fit for your delicate ears.”
AFTERMATH
November Seventh began with a bright, blue sky in Nuevo York. Hurricane Sandi had devastated Lower Lamhatten and Statin Island. The Battlery was awash with dirty water and debris. In Nuevo Jersey, its inhabitants were stunned by the ferocity of the storm. Not since 1938 had a storm vanquished the North East and laid the compacted population stricken, without power, without clean water, and without hope.
Governor Chris Crusty of Nuevo Jersey had abruptly changed his tune. Faced with the wrath of Mother Nature, he embraced the efforts of Bam Orama to bring solace to the inhabitants of the land that had fashioned itself after the Jersey of Old England. But it was Jim Messiah who saved the day. He took over from Axelhead and Poofe and made sure that it would be a 50-state campaign.
The election was an anti-climax. Bam Orama swept through the nation, winning both the popular vote and the electoral vote. The lone disappointment was Norte Carolina, the only “swing state” that barely went to Rumnose. Everyone knew that this result was due to the gerrymandering that the Repugnican legislature had imposed on the Tarheelers. What was most disappointing was the fact that three stalwart women of Western Norte Carolina—Patty Cleaver, Jan Widden, and Suzi Wilcox–had been exposed to nasty Repugnican lies in the final week of the campaign. Another casualty had been Ram Rapper, of Ares Hill, who was clearly the better candidate, but who fell to one of the scumbags who received bags of money from the coffers of Cal Stove and his “American Dead End” SuperPac.
But Stove and the rest of the money men—the Cocks, the Adelbrains, the Papes—had spent their money in vain. Bam Orama, with the help of young people, Latinos, blacks, women, and others who were thoroughly pissed off with the antics of the Repugnican Party and its coalition of stupid white men, bankers, coupon cutters, and the congenitally misinformed, had given them a huge thumping. This prompted the head of the Repugnican Party to do some serious rethinking about its viability.
“Crap,” exclaimed Joe Schultz, the nominal head of the Repugnican Party, as he surveyed the destruction that had befallen his cohorts. “This is worse than the McPain fiasco in 2008!” Schultz kicked his chair, wincing as he experienced a sharp pain in his ankle. Schultz was standing in an almost empty room, the flacks having left, with only those whose job was to clean up the debris being on the scene, mostly large black men with smiles on their faces.
Far away, relaxing in the Penthouse suite of the Carlyle, Lance and Lara were enjoying a snifter of Amaretto with some petit fours. Lara was the first to speak.
“Well, Mr. Super Star, did you manage to have Bam Orama win the election with your exploits of derring do?”
Lance, looking somewhat shamefaced, gazed at the sheen of the liquor in his glass before replying. “It really didn’t depend on me at all. Once I discovered that the plot to deconstruct the Yohio voting machines had been scotched, I knew it was all over.”
“So it was a Federal judge who saved the day, eh?” said Lara with a curling, superior smile, just the corners of her lips slightly raised.”
Lance was sufficiently chastened. “I guess that we don’t always need a super hero to determine our fate,” he said. “Sometimes it might just be enough to trust our fellow citizens to do the right thing.”
Lara turned towards him on the bed they had been sharing, while they looked at the last of Bill Maher’s show. “So why don’t we give it a rest for awhile, take a cruise somewhere. It looks as if Bam Orama is going to take care of business in his next four years.”
Lance smiled. Yes, he thought, perhaps a cruise to Río would be just the thing. Go down there for Carnivál and forget all the nastiness that had permeated the electoral process. But another part of him had his doubts. They’ll never give up, he thought. The Repugnican right would continue to obstruct the progress of the union. Yesterday it was the John Birch Society; now it was the Tea Party. The names change, but the players remain the same. Today one could begin to hope. Tomorrow was another day.
Posted in Political | Comments Off
Lance and Lara sat stunned in their bedroom suite at the Carlyle. The first debate had just concluded and Bam Orama had bombed! How could the articulate President who had accomplished so much fall prey to the one-per-center mantra that fell trippingly from Dullard Rumnose’s empty head. Lance was disconsolate. “It’s that damn Axelhead,” he grumbled. “That stupid left-over from Bam’s campaign in 2008, the one who sabotaged him in 2010. Why did he keep that loser on? Why didn’t he sack both Axelhead and Poofe?”
Lara rubbed the back of Lance’s neck. “It’s just that he feels a loyalty to them, sweetheart. Surely, you know that he can’t just dump the pair that helped bring him to the presidency, don’t you?”
Lance knew no such thing. He knew that Bam Orama would do the right thing if only he were able to get re-elected. But now the corporate money that flowed to him in 2008, out of fear that the fat-cats wouldn’t have a seat at the table–and then flowed to the Repugs in 2010, after the Affordable Care Act passed–was now flowing faster than ever to the empty-headed drone and his sinister cohort, Pauley O’Rourke. Now that the five idiots on the SCOTUS had concocted the “Citizens Divided” decision, everything was in place to solidify the new Gilded Age that had begun with Reagan. Lance sighed. Despite the stupidity of Orama’s dumbwad duo, there had to be a way of lightening the load of the albatross that Bam found slung around his neck.
“I don’t know why people read the lame-stream media,” groused Lance. “All they’re doing is wanting to sell the sizzle, picking on something as lame as a “one-percenter talk session” in order to say it’s still a horse race.”
“But that’s what makes it a horse race, Lance,” said Lara wisely. “Just one little mistake can turn everything around.” Lara was thinking of chaos theory, and the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing being able to affect the price of tea in Boston.
Although Lance was impressed with chaos theory and the accidents that could affect even the best laid plans of mice and men, he thought that the ripple effect was over-rated. Surely, there was a moment of space-time in which the ripples played out and had no bearing on events, resulting in what some would call “don’t cares.” If there were no such things as “don’t cares,” then we would be at the mercy swerves in the space-time continuum, a condition in which rational choice had no bearing on the future. Lance could not bring himself to believe this.
Lance brought his consciousness back to the central question at issue. What could Bam Orama do to salvage his reputation as an intelligent, articulate speaker?
Suddenly, Lance had an idea. He would get in touch with Wilby Good. (Those of you who have followed the adventures of The Shade know that Wilberforce B. Good was Lance’s long-lost cousin, someone whom coincidence had put on the same space-time line.) Lance retrieved his cell phone and punched in the number.
“Hello,” a sleepy voice answered, “This is Wilby.”
“Wilby? It’s Lance. Sorry to be calling so late.”
“That’s OK,” said Wilby, rubbing his eyes. His mouth felt fuzzy from the evening’s entertainment, which consisted of drinking double Scotches as he perused the latest shenanigans in Harper’s Magazine—the widespread intimidation of minority voters in the state of Yahohio, plus the plan to “lose” votes in the Yahohio River when voting machines would accidentally fall off trucks that were on their way to the private vote-counting houses of Slyhold Voting Machines. All this would be under the watchful eye of the Repugnican governor, Jim Cashits, who, besides being the slimiest character in the Yahohio State House, was known to take a few thousand bucks a week from household expenses to the “Casino on the River,” where he was able to cadge drinks from the owners in return for not collecting taxes owed for gambling on the river.
“I need you to look into something for me, Wil,” said Lance. “ Lara and I are in Nuevo York for the second debate, so I need someone to see why it is that the election numbers are so close. It’s too late for you to get to the site of debate number two, but can you get to the site of the third debate and see what the heck Durwood Poofe is doing? It seems as if he’s turning a sure thing into a game of chance.”
Wilby knew what Lance was referring to. Poofe, in his colossal ignorance was claiming that he was concentrating on just four battleground states, one of which of Yaohio. He was willing to give up all of the South except for Floridana and Norte Carolina, and all of the most of the Southwest, knowing that Nuevo York and Califragilista would be solidly in the Dem column. The other battleground was said to be Pencilmania. Rumor had it that Poofe was going to put all of the advertising into those four battlegrounds, concentrating only on the presidency and neglecting the House races that would be important to Bam Orama should he gain re-election.
What a dumb bunny, thought Wilby, echoing the thought that Lance was having at the same time. Didn’t Poofe and Axelhead know that there were races that could be won, especially by women candidates, but if the money dried up, then those races would probably seat foaming- at-the-mouth tea partiers (who are really middle-aged men with a grudge against women and a racist streak a mile long).
Wilby turned on his bed lamp and looked at his watch. A little after midnight. He reckoned he could get a red-eye down to Boca Mousito and take a bus to Limehouse University, where the final debate would be held. He knew a few reporters who worked for MSNBC who were always ready to share scuttlebutt about the dirty tricks the Repugnicans were planning. Maybe they would also confirm the fact that Poofe and Axelhead were ready to sacrifice the House of Representatives just so they could pour money into the four battleground states.
As Wilby checked the airline times from the Queen City to Boca Mousito, he grimaced as he saw that the most convenient flight landed at Miami Airport. He groaned inwardly, remembering that airport as being the most confusing that can be imagined. He wished he could have landed in Atlanta, but instead he would have to get a cab at premium prices for the 50 mile ride to Boca Mousito. He made a special note to himself to bring his English-Spanish dictionary, because the cabbie would probably want to make conversation about the latest fiesta on 8th Street. Oh, well, he thought, better to get there early and find some lodgings. It would give him some time to get a lay of the land. He was hoping that Bam Orama would come out firing in the second debate. Actually, he felt quite confident that he would.
Meanwhile, Lance was up and about, thinking that he would pay a visit to the editorial offices of the Nuevo Times-Two, the most virulent right-wing newspaper in the United States. He thought that if he could gather information about Repugnican plans to sabotage the election, he might be able to scotch them.
“Where are you going this time of night?” asked Lara, knowing from his demeanor that he had made up his mind to do something and wouldn’t be deterred.
“Just restless,” said Lance, throwing on some clothes. “I think I’ll take a cab down to the park and walk around a bit, just to clear my head.”
“You watch yourself down there,” said Lara, remembering a time when she had been accosted by two drunken sailors. Little did they know that she had taken martial arts lessons for some time, and had left the sailors thinking that their ship had been torpedoed and they had been cast up on the beach.
“Don’t worry,” said Lance, as he kissed Lara goodnight. “I know how to defend myself.”
Then Lance took the elevator to the ground floor, hailed a cab and was on his way to the Times-Two editorial offices. He felt sure that he would be able to use his powers of distraction to gain entry into their inner sanctum, and perhaps even catch a couple of their reporters engaged in discussing all the dirty tricks that the Repugs planned to use in the days leading up to the election. One such trick had been already bruited about. Little Donny Crump, he of the flaming hair, had announced that he had an October surprise. Well, thought Lance, there was nothing surprising about a man who was leveraged to the hilt and spouted the craziest nonsense this side of Peoria. He was sure that Crump was merely a distraction. Other more sinister doings were in the works, he felt sure, and he had little time to discover what they were.
Chronicles of the Shade – Part III – Episode 6
Posted in Political | Comments OffLance awoke with a start. His atomic watch having once again aligned itself with the universe. It was useful to have a watch that spoke out the time with unerring accuracy, but it was a bother to have it sound an alarm at 3:00 a.m. just so it could adjust itself to the spinning of the planets.
The Dem convention was underway in Queen City. Bam Orama had yet to attend, now attempting to stoke up the fires of the Dem faithful out in the Heartland. But many Heartlanders weren’t buying it. Something was sadly awry with the message that Jefferson Swinton and many other old Dems were peddling. Jefferson had recently told his wife Hildy that he wasn’t sure that he was making a connection with the younger progressives who had flocked to Bam Orama in 2008. Saying that the election was “all about jobs” seemed to cheapen the message. Lance knew that it wasn’t “all about jobs”; and it wasn’t about whether or not Osama bin Loaded was assassinated. Those were topics that the Repugnican Party were using to muddy the waters and to get younger Dems so disgusted with politics as it was being practiced that they would opt to stay home on Election Day, thus handing an unlikely victory to Dullard Rumnose and Pauley O’Roarke
Lance had a strong intuition that Dummit Axelhead and Durwood Poofe were inadvertently sabotaging the campaign of the man for whom they were working. Lance had to be sure that it was this duo who were feeding the President, the former President, and the Vice President lines that did not flow trippingly on the tongue. Therefore he was about to enter the inner sanctum of the Orama Campaign Headquarters in Queen City in the only way he could, which was as his alter ego, The Shade. As the reader who has been following Lance Carter’s adventures already know, Lance has the ability to slow his heartbeat to fewer than two beats per minute, which, as has been outlined in earlier episodes, allows him to remain unseen as he reads the thoughts of those whom he has decided to monitor.
Dummit and Durwood sat in a funk in the best of room in the best of hotels in Queen City. “I thought that if we just concentrated on the Bush years, we’d be ahead in the polls,” groused Axelhead.
“Yeah,” said Poofe, disconsolately. “I thought that all we had to do was concentrate on hope and change and we’d be a lock in November.”
The Shade had breezed by Security by quickly flashing the guard at the hotel door the plastic key to his own motel room. Before the puzzled fellow could hazard another look, Lance had quickly zipped past him into the resplendent foyer. Although he had been sorely tempted to order a “Noilley” at the bar, he said to himself, “First things first.” Later he and Lara would be able to share cocktails (she with her Pimms Cup, as always) but Lance had felt that somehow Bam Orama’s candidacy was stuck, and that he had to extricate it.
Now he stood silently in a corner of the hotel’s Empire Suite as Poofe and Axelhead sipped their Chardonnay and tried to figure out what went wrong. “I think we’re out of synch,” said Poofe.
“Yeah, darn right,” replied Axelhead. “So what are we gonna do?”
“Do you think we should try to get Jefferson Swinton to campaign for us?”
“Duh,” said Dummit, “Why didn’t I think of that?”
The Shade suddenly felt like laughing. Got to stifle it, he thought, even though those two lame brains would have made a good comedy team. If you thought Abbott and Costello was funny, Axelhead and Poofe would have beaten them on any laugh-o-meter.
Of course, Jefferson Swinton had already made up his mind to campaign for Bam Orama. The two men had been at odds ever since Bam cruised by Hildy Swinton in 2008. Hildy’s faithful were not happy campers. Dem women who had worked tirelessly so that Hildy would become President were seriously ticked that Bam had come in with his message of “Hope and Change” and pulled the rug out from Hildy.
But now Jefferson had seen the light at the end of the tunnel. It would be counterproductive to sit out 2012 the way he’d done in 2010, allowing a crew of foaming-at-the-mouth crazies to capture the House of Representatives and push the Repugnican Party further and further to the right, so much so that GOP has now come to signify “Greedy Old Putzes.”
It’s an old adage in tennis officialdom that you don’t want to get in the way of a woman player on the way to the rest room. So, too, you don’t want to get in the way of Dem women who have been fighting to break the glass ceiling but have time and again been rebuffed.
Dummit Axelhead raised his eyes from his empty glass of Chardonnay and emitted a thought.
“Hey, Durwood.” he belched, “What about we send everybody who gave $10 to Bam in 2012 a letter saying that we can’t do without your money this time, only now we make it $13 because of inflation?”
“I don’t know,” said Poofe. “Maybe we should say that it’s going to create lots of jobs if we continue letting the big banks rip off homeowners by raising rates on their mortgages.”
“I don’t know if that’ll fly, ‘cuz I heard that most homeowners have had their mortgages foreclosed.”
“Yeah, that’s too bad,” answered Poofe. Then as an afterthought, Poofe looked right at the space The Shade was occupying unseen and said, “Gee, I wonder what all those poor people are doing tonight.”
“I guess they’re not having a glass of Chardonnay in the best hotel in Queen City,” said Axelhead. And then the two raised their glasses in a toast, the way you’re supposed to do, by raising the glass from the heart and extending it towards one another without the gauche practice of clinking glasses.
“Say,” said Axelhead. “Why don’t we have the campaign make its pitch for bucks by saying that we couldn’t have done what we’ve done without you, and then address the guy by his first name.”
“Not bad,” replied Poofe. “We could say, ‘Thanks, Richard, we appreciate all that you do for women like you. No, wait, that doesn’t sound right. Well, you know, we could fix it up.”
That’s it, thought The Shade, as he slipped out the door to the hallway and back out onto the street. These guys were dolts, imbeciles. They couldn’t sell a jug of water for a dime to a guy whose pants were on fire. It was a good thing that Jefferson Swinton had decided that he didn’t want to sit out this race. Even though he was an artful dodger, and a fan of fellatio, there was this je ne sais quois about him that made men want to shake his hand and women want to shake something else. Oh, well, said Lance to himself as he once more became visible to others, some guys are chick magnets and others are drawn to just one true North.
Lance flipped open his IPhone and pressed the stored entry. After only two rings, he heard the voice that he had been missed hearing ever since he had arrived in Queen City. “Where are you, Lance?” said Lara in a slightly exasperated tone.
“I’m just about to take a plane out of Queen City,” said Lance from the taxi that was speeding its way towards the airport. “Save me a seat at the Carlyle bar, because I’ll be there before 10 pm.”
“You’d better be,” said Lara, remembering how Lance had left her at the bar earlier. “I want to hear all about the Convention.”
“Yeah,” said Lance, “I didn’t see that much of it, and I’ll miss Bam’s acceptance speech, but I did catch some lady riding a pink bike with sparkles on it, spreading the word about equality and women’s rights.”
“It’s about time,” said Lara. “I can’t wait to get your reaction on the campaign.”
Chronicles of the Shade – Part III – Episode 5
Posted in Political | Comments Off
Congressional Representative Paulino O’Rourke looked at his reflection in the mirror and practiced putting on an honest face. This was getting more and more difficult to do. His political enemies, including but not limited to President Bam Orama, thought of him as single-minded but sincere. “Little do they know,” he said sotto voce. In reality, O’Rourke was in the same devilish league that included ex- VP Ricardo Chancey, Senator Mortimer “The Owl” McDumbell, and former UN Ambassador John Boltface. They were all followers of that Goddess of Greed, Ayn Rand.
O’Rourke was at his secret shrine to the Randy one, having just lit a candle in memory of the crazy Russian novelist whose dystopian world view envisioned just two classes of people, the very rich and the grinding poor who were enslaved by them. O’Rourke’s ancestors once used to be among the latter, but thanks to the family construction business they were among the elite of Marysville, Wiscarson. Irish Mafia, some would say, but the most vocal dissenters usually disappeared by taking a swim in the river wearing concrete boots. “I might be going to die young,” O’Rourke said grimly, “But I ain’t gonna wind up like no Joe Boffa.” Paulino always reverted to his family argot when alone. It tired him to speak grammatically, and he wanted some relief.
Meanwhile, Lance Carter was getting no relief as he paced the floor of a Sleep Inn Motel in Queen City, NC. Bam Orama had chosen Queen City for his convention in October, mainly because Norte Carolina was a swing state, plus the fact that he wanted to see whether the barbeque was better than at 12 Ribs Lance could have told him otherwise, having sampled the Eastern sort of barbeque in Rollover, NC, and Lance suspected that Queen City barbeque also had the slaw sandwiched in with the pulled pork. “Ugh,” Lance involuntarily exclaimed, thinking that only where the meat was slow-cooked until it fell off the bone could you make good barbeque.
What was disturbing Lance was that Willard Rumnose had chosen O’Rourke as his Vice-Presidential running-mate. Lance was sure that Cal Stove was behind this pick. Why not go with what was successful in 2000? Then you had that ignorant tool, Barnaby A. Liar teamed up with Ricardo “Shooter” Chancey. Stove and his devilish minions made up outrageous lies about a genuine war hero and were able to con the confused electorate into re-electing the clueless one in 2004! Then “Shooter” rained fire and brimstone on Jiraque and Albasterstam—killing millions of Jiraquis in the process and completely destroying the infrastructure of Albasterstam . In the process, as well, many brave men and women in the U.S. military forces died—some by friendly fire, when frustrated enlisted men “fragged” an officer or two.
Well, thought Lance, no need to think about that now. That’s water under the Bridge of Avignon, as the French are wont to say. Speaking of the French, Lance reminded himself, that the right-winged midget, Nickleass Sarcophgi had recently been dethroned as the PM of France. “Vive la France!” Lance exclaimed, only there was no one to hear his shout. Then he felt a twinge of remorse for expressing his joy. Poor Nickleass, he thought; now Carlotta Brunetta will dump him and find someone more suitable to lavish her charms on. Well, that’s three in a row—first Berloser in Italia, then Muburrhead in Egypt, and now Sarcophgi in France—three right-wing clowns down the tubes (then he shuddered ,thinking) and in Muburrhead’s case he might really be sent tubing down the Nile, sort of like Moses in the bulrushes only with a different result.
Lance began musing about how nice it would be if a sloppy wet storm named ‘Ichabod’, would drown out the Repugnican Convention in Tampaxa, Floridiana. Wouldn’t it be fitting, Lance thought, if the Homegrown Security forces were as clueless as they had been in N’Awlins, forcing rich, white, pork-faced businessmen to huddle together, in damp underwear as they waited for leaky boats to take them to dry land. “Oh, well,” said Lance to himself, “What goes around comes around.”
As Lance fretted about whether President Bam Orama would deliver the goods at the Dem Convention, Bam himself was getting a dressing down from his wife in their spacious lakeshore home. Bam was intent on listening to a Cubbies game, but he couldn’t ignore his wife, who snatched the remote out of his hands and turned off the TV.
“Hey,” said Bam plaintively, “I was watching that game.”
“Well, why don’t you watch me for a change,” said his beautiful wife, hands on hips and fire in her eyes. “Why are you still kow-towing to those banksters? You know darned well that they are way off base, just using their ill-gotten gains to feather their own nests.”
“Aw, I need that corporate money to get re-elected. Then I’ll be able to do what I’d planned to do all along. Shore up Social Security, protect the unions, rein in the DOD’s wasteful spending. But honey, I need that corporate money.”
Michaela Orama looked at her husband with an incredulous stare. “Are you serious? You got elected in 2008 because people sent in five and ten bucks at a time. You didn’t need corporate money then, and you don’t need it now.”
The President slumped in his chair. She was right, he thought. She was always right. I don’t know why I thought needed little Timmy the Treasurer and Larry Winter, the econ adviser. The latter was kicked out of his presidency at Havahd by women faculty who found him obnoxious and stupid. But Axelhead had said he needed the expertise of the brainy Timothy, he of the dubious tax returns and a cushy job waiting for him at Golden and Schwartz after entering the revolving door of politics and big business.
It was clear to Lance what was going on. Although the know-nothing branch of the Supremes were shaken by the Chief Justice’s ruling that Obamacare was lawful, they still had the Citizens-Divided decision to serve as a model for corporate excess. Now the so-called SuperPacs could rain money down so as to bamboozle an electorate that was too dazed by day-to-day living to see behind the lies spread by Repugnican flacks and goons.
Meanwhile, in Tampaxa, Repugnican Party faithful wrung out their wet underwear to cheer in mindless lunacy as Willard Rumnose introduced Pauletto O’Rourke as the new Ricardo Chancey, who at the time, was snorting and wheezing as his wife gave his Oxycodone to ease the persistent and painful beating of the steel monster in his chest.
O’Rourke basked in the limelight as the drones of the lamestream press showed him with his kids, who, with their mother had been coached to look “All American,” even as she hated what Pauley had turned their life into. He’s a lying scumbag, she thought, even as she waved to the crowd, her kids mesmerized by the attention. He’ll never know that I voted for Bam Orama, she thought. At least Orama wanted to give women a chance at the good life, instead of being confined to the kitchen and the nursery. Oh, to be a Republican wife, a good sport and a sexual plaything, she mused. I sometimes have the urge to hit Pauley on the head with a coffee mug, the way that a USTA Referee recently dispatched her abusive husband. Always serve coffee in a paper cup, a friend advised Pauley, you never know what goes on in a woman’s head.
Lance suddenly found himself drifting away in the arms of Morpheus. Damn, he said to himself as he floated into a dream world, I forgot to call Lara. Oh well, it’s a good bet that she’ll understand…
Chronicles of the Shade – Part III – Episode 4
Posted in Political | Comments Off ← Older posts Newer posts →



